Perfectionism Holds Us Back; Progress Takes Us Forward
If it’s worth doing, we should try to do it perfectly, right? Many of us struggle with this idea, and we run the risk of perfection paralysis when it makes us reluctant to move forward because we’re afraid of making a mistake. And that can keep us from putting our best self forward.
Actually, it takes more courage to recognize that we are imperfect than it does to strive for perfection. That’s why I say all the time, “I’m a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress,” and it’s why progress over perfection is our latest topic in this month’s theme of courage.
When you think about it, our concept of perfection is usually not even based on our own views – it’s based on the standards of society and the judgments of other people. Though you think you might be striving for perfection, what you’re really doing is striving to attain somebody else’s idea of what your perfect self should be.
If we were more realistic about our goals, we would change our focus from perfection to something more attainable, such as excellence or progress. Excellence is a standard you can set for yourself that consists of putting in your best effort and doing the best work you can; progress is simply making a positive move forward. Even a baby step is progress, and excellence can be achieved through baby steps.
Having the courage to overcome perfection paralysis starts with NOTICING. We should notice when we make a mistake, and then work to make things better, to look at it as a learning opportunity, and to move on. We should also notice those times when we use our strengths, recognizing that we’ve overcome a lot of challenges as a caregiver, and we can do so again. Other things to notice are whether we’re taking on too much with our goals, expectations, and priorities for each day, as well as the effectiveness of our support team and our mindfulness in decision-making.
Once we get past our tendency toward perfectionism, we can eliminate barriers and open new doors to progress. We may discover new avenues of creativity and imagination as we try things that we were reluctant to do before. And much of our self-criticism will be silenced because we’re no longer judging ourselves based on an unattainable standard of perfection.
Remember, progress is sustainable, while perfection is not. When you train your brain to focus on progress, you’re training it to help you be the best YOU that you can be.