How Do You Perceive Your Perceptions?
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau
Let’s face it, the way we look at the world can often determine the way we form our opinions, our values, and even who we are. That’s why managing our perceptions is so crucial to self-growth. In many challenging situations, our perceptions are all we have to guide us.
Learning to manage perceptions is hard work that requires time and practice. It begins with being open to new experiences, challenging long-held beliefs, and exploring the evidence to support our beliefs. It requires us to be introspective – to dig deep, to be true to ourselves, to look deep inside, and to be honest enough to recognize that we may not always like what we see (in ourselves OR in each other). This introspection allows us to identify behaviors and beliefs that may not be serving us well and could benefit from change.
And caregivers often carry the additional burden of trying to manage the perceptions of the public and/or family members regarding their loved ones, often due to mental health stigma. Caregivers may feel like they need to protect their loved ones from the curious stares of strangers or negative comments of other family members. To counter these perceptions, we try to educate others and tell our own story of caring for someone with these conditions. If you’ve found yourself in this situation, don’t forget to love yourself and your loved one. Leading with love is always a good idea as you work to manage perceptions and challenge stigma!
Remember these five tools for managing perceptions:
NOTICE: How do others react to your behaviors?
REFRAME: Emotions and experiences. (Is that person being loud or enthusiastic?)
ASK FOR FEEDBACK: Ask a trusted friend or colleague how they see you.
MODIFY: Based on the feedback you receive, what do you want to change? Start small.
VALIDATE and CHALLENGE: Validate appropriate behavior, and challenge incorrect perceptions.
Holding onto a growth mindset is key to changing perceptions. When our own perceptions are challenged, we need to adapt them to ensure that we aren’t deceiving ourselves with a version of truth that may not be compatible with reality. And to change others’ perceptions of us, we need to be willing to modify behaviors that may be distracting or unhelpful.
When you request and process feedback about your behavior from someone you trust, you gain the chance to improve. Introspection is just gaining that kind of feedback from a particular trusted individual – YOU. You can always change; the choice is YOURS.