Feeling Lonely? There Is HOPE!
One of the most common feelings caregivers express to us is loneliness. As caregivers, we can feel isolated from the rest of the world because of our responsibilities, our loved one’s challenges, or the cultural stigma surrounding mental health. As humans, we are hard-wired for social connections, and loneliness can affect our health and well-being. And we don’t have to BE alone to feel lonely. For these reasons, breaking through loneliness is one of the most important topics we can cover.
Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, social scientists were warning about the increase of loneliness in today’s society. The rise of electronic communication, family members moving away from each other, and increased social distancing (not just during the pandemic) have left people feeling more isolated than ever.
Fortunately, there is HOPE. I was happy to discover the work of Dr. Vivek Murthy as a great resource to help us all break through loneliness. I’m a big fan of his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, and check out this podcast hosted by Brené Brown.
Dr. Murthy notes that as humans, our true nature is love, we feel love through relationships, and human connection is necessary for healing. He says, “Creating a connected life begins with the decisions we make in our daily lives. Do we choose to make time for people? Do we show up as our true selves? Do we seek out others with kindness recognizing the power of service to bring us together? This work isn’t always easy. It requires courage. The courage to be vulnerable – to take a chance on others – to believe in ourselves. But as we build connected lives, we make it possible to build a connected world.”
Here are five tools, including some additional quotes from Dr. Murthy’s book, that may help you break through that feeling of loneliness:
Pause and notice. Affirm and validate your emotions. Practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. Remember, this, too, will pass.
Spend time each day with those you love. “Devote at least 15 minutes each day to connecting with those you most care about.”
Focus on each other. “Try to eliminate distractions when interacting with others. Give the other person the gift of your full attention, making eye contact, if possible, and genuinely listening.”
Embrace solitude. “The first step toward building stronger connections with others is to build a stronger connection with oneself. … Meditation, prayer, art, music, and time spent outdoors can all be sources of solitary comfort and joy.”
Help, and be helped. “Service is a form of human connection that reminds us of our value and purpose in life.”
Remember, you are never alone. Courage to Caregivers is always here to help YOU break through that feeling of loneliness.