Communication, Community, and YOU
As caregivers, we live in a variety of communities. A community can exist that’s just us and our loved one, or us with our immediate family, or with our extended family and friends. Then there’s the community that makes up our support system, the community that consists of all caregivers, and the local community we live in. Each type of community is strengthened when effective communication is practiced.
Unfortunately, our thoughts and feelings may get in the way of effective communication – we may be concerned about how others perceive us, how our message is being received, or that we’re being judged. I know … this is hard.
But good communication is so important for a variety of reasons. Making our needs and feelings known, advocating for others, and understanding the needs and feelings of others are just a few of those reasons. The better we communicate, the more effective we are at maintaining healthy relationships, setting healthy boundaries, and solving problems.
Assertiveness, active listening, fair fighting, and empathy are all vital for effective communication. Being assertive involves expressing your needs directly and specifically while also respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. Active listening gives the other person our full attention without distractions. Fair fighting enables us to directly and calmly state a position or share a point of view, creating an atmosphere of discussion instead of confrontation. Using empathy allows us to set aside our own position and consider the positions and perspectives of others.
I’ve found dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to be a great help in seeing both perspectives in any given scenario. Check out this article if you want to learn more about DBT and communication.
For general help communicating more effectively, try these five tools:
Be an active listener. Listen to understand before speaking. REFLECT back what you heard. ASK clarifying questions.
Use "I" language to express your feelings in an assertive but non-aggressive way, and take responsibility for them.
Be fully present when communicating. Leave your devices behind or turn off notifications. Give your undivided attention.
Share your purpose. Recognize that “what’s important to you is also important to me.”
Use the 7 Cs. When communicating, make it a practice to always be:
Clear.
Concise.
Concrete.
Correct.
Coherent.
Complete.
Courteous.
I believe the key to ANY successful relationship in any of our communities is how well we communicate with each other. Effective communication benefits all parties involved, and that includes YOU.