Half of the Glass Is Empty, and Half of It Is Full
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
~ William A. Ward
Do you think of yourself as an optimist or a pessimist, or something in between? This week’s topic is all about that space in between – a concept called realistic optimism – which we believe is a more positive and productive space to be in, rather than pure optimism or pure pessimism.
While optimism is an attitude that focuses solely on hope and confidence that everything will turn out for the best, and pessimism focuses on just the things that could go wrong, a realistic optimist is someone who recognizes the negative aspects of life but who also does not become consumed by that negativity. An attitude of realistic optimism allows for a growth mindset, and problems become challenges to overcome, not roadblocks.
Realistic optimism allows us to learn from our failures, look at risk as an opportunity for growth, and feel grateful for the little things, even if all our expectations aren’t met. In this way, we can display our resilience and accept both positive and negative results with grace and tolerance.
Realistic optimism is also the opposite of “toxic positivity,” which might be well-intentioned but often ignores any negative feelings or outcomes and can encourage people to hide or bury their emotions, which is unhealthy. Here is a terrific article and podcast on Realistic Optimism over Toxic Positivity at Work.
On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with positive thinking, which is different from toxic positivity. Positive thinking is a mental attitude that we can develop as a habit to help us focus on what we can do vs. what we can’t do. We can appreciate the positive change we can bring into the world, while recognizing that not everything is the way we would want it to be. Coincidentally, September 13 was Positive Thinking Day.
Here are five tools that could help you cultivate an attitude of realistic optimism:
MINDFULNESS: Focus on the present moment. Don’t dwell on the past or the future. Find something to ground you. Get out of your head and into your body. Focus on your breath. Consider meditation, movement, or journaling.
POSITIVITY: Look for all the good in the world. Be grateful for the little things. Surround yourself with positive, optimistic people. Notice your self-talk.
KINDNESS: Throw kindness around like confetti. As you do good for others, the goodness comes back to you tenfold. It can be as easy as sharing a smile.
VISUALIZATION: Visualize your goals and dreams with positivity. Close your eyes, and using all your senses, imagine how you want to be or become – how it looks, sounds, and feels.
MICRO-STEPS: Start small, and be gentle with yourself. Optimism takes practice to build into a PRACTICE. Focus on the positive, one micro-step at a time.
Realistic optimism is also strategic optimism. Make it YOUR strategy and practice to help you become the best version of YOU.