How to Build Resilience: Take a Rest
“Rest is not idle, not wasteful. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do for your body and soul.” ~ Erica Layne
We all know how important sleep is to our overall wellness, but what about resting and refreshing? Our culture values “doing” over “resting.” Yet, as a caregiver, I know that if I don’t take time to rest – to renew my energy and motivation – I won’t have much left of me to care for others.
I’m kind of obsessed with a new ring that holds me accountable to my wellness goals. Every morning, it gives me my “sleep score,” which not only measures how much sleep I get but also gives me information on all the “sleep contributors” – including efficiency, restfulness, REM and deep sleep, latency (how long it takes to fall asleep), and timing. The number I’m focused on right now is "restfulness."
Rest and sleep are closely related but not the same, and both are essential for the health and sustainability of unpaid family caregivers. Both are restorative: They help the body and mind recover from physical and emotional strain. Both reduce stress: They activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” mode), lowering cortisol and promoting relaxation. Both support caregiving stamina: They replenish energy, improve mood, and help caregivers stay focused and present.
Sleep restores the body and brain. Lack of quality sleep increases caregiver fatigue, emotional reactivity, and health risks. It also impairs attention, decision-making, and patience, making caregiving more difficult and stressful.
Rest offers intentional pauses during the day. Caregivers often can’t get enough uninterrupted sleep, but they can build in moments of rest – like taking five deep breaths, stepping outside, or having 10 minutes of silence. These small breaks protect against emotional overload and help caregivers reset.
Together, they prevent burnout. Sleep heals the body; rest preserves the spirit. Caregivers need both to sustain their role without losing themselves to exhaustion, resentment, or chronic stress.
Sleep is medicine. Rest is maintenance. For unpaid family caregivers, nurturing both is not indulgent – it’s survival.
Here are three practical tools to help you prioritize rest, even in the midst of demanding schedules:
1. The "Pause & Protect" Schedule: A simple, intentional daily routine that includes non-negotiable rest moments – even just 5–10 minutes at a time.
Block time on your calendar for micro-rest windows: morning check-in, mid-afternoon break, and evening wind-down.
Use alarms or reminders to prompt these pauses.
Treat them as just as important as a medical appointment or medication schedule.
2. The "Quiet Space" Ritual: A designated restorative environment or activity that signals your brain it’s time to slow down.
Identify a small space or routine that feels calming – like a corner chair with a blanket, sitting on the porch, or listening to calming music.
Make it part of your daily rhythm – e.g., 10 minutes after lunch or right after the person you care for goes to bed.
Pair it with deep breathing, meditation, journaling, or simply doing nothing.
3. The “Not-To-Do” List: A written list of tasks, habits, or expectations you intentionally choose to release or delegate to protect your energy.
List 3–5 things you don’t have to do today (e.g., cleaning the garage, replying to every text immediately, feeling guilty for resting).
Post the list somewhere visible.
Revisit and revise weekly.
Prioritizing rest isn’t about doing less. It’s about protecting your capacity to do what truly matters. Dedicating even small amounts of time each day to rest can help you build lasting resilience.