New Perspectives Bring New Connections

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Commonly attributed to Anaïs Nin

Early in my caregiving journey, I believed I needed to have all of the answers, stay strong, and handle everything myself. I've since learned that changing our perspective doesn't always change our circumstances, but it can change how we navigate them.

This month, we're exploring Collaboration, one of the six domains of resilience. Managing our perceptions helps us recognize opportunities for collaboration through connection, shared responsibility, and support—all protective factors against caregiver burnout.

When we make room for different perspectives, we make room for connection. And connection creates hope.

Here are three tools to help us shift our perspectives:

1. Reframe the "I Have To" Mindset

From obligation to shared responsibility

Being responsible for someone doesn't mean we have to be responsible for everything. When we think, "I have to do it all," we can ask, "Is this something only I can do, or could someone else help?" Sharing responsibilities can reduce stress and make caregiving more sustainable.

2. Challenge the "I'm Not Doing Enough" Story

From self-criticism to self-compassion

Over the past decade, I've heard countless caregivers express feelings of falling short. I've felt that way, too. Instead of asking, "Am I doing enough?" we can ask, "Am I recognizing everything I'm already doing?" Self-compassion helps us replace unrealistic expectations and protect our well-being.

3. Look for Connection, Not Just Conflict

From assumptions to understanding

When we're overwhelmed, we may interpret others' actions as criticism or indifference. Asking "What else might be true?" helps us consider another perspective. Replacing assumptions with curiosity can strengthen communication, collaboration, and connection.

What Ten Years Have Taught Me

As I prepare to pass the leadership of Courage to Caregivers to Angel Cartwright, I'm reminded that growth requires making room for new perspectives.

What began with my caregiving journey has grown through the wisdom and experiences of countless others. Angel will bring her own strengths and perspective to our next chapter, while our mission remains unchanged: to empower and equip carers to navigate their journey.

We will continue to be guided by our vision of a world where healthy carers lead to healthier families and communities.