Building a Community of Strength
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” — Bob Marley
When I founded Courage to Caregivers ten years ago, I’m not sure I would have described myself as “strong.” I was a caregiver who had experienced firsthand how hard caring for someone you love can be—and I saw a problem I wanted to solve. What I brought to that problem were the strengths that came most naturally to me: kindness, compassion, caring, active listening, and problem-solving. Those strengths became woven into the roots of Courage to Caregivers. We listen. We care. We meet caregivers where they are. And we help them find a way forward.
As I prepare to pass leadership to Angel, I’ve been thinking a lot about strengths—and particularly about how our strengths don’t have to look the same. Angel brings kindness, compassion, caring, listening, and problem-solving, too. But she also brings strengths that are uniquely hers. She is persistent, motivated, energetic, ambitious, and willing to think REALLY big. She holds firmly to our roots while imagining possibilities I might never have imagined. And one of my favorite strengths she brings is joy—she seems to manifest it in everything she does. She has re-energized me, too, as we navigate this transition together and work to make it as smooth and thoughtful as possible for everyone—our stakeholders, our volunteers, and especially the caregivers we support.
There’s an important lesson here for all of us: Strength isn’t one thing. We don’t have to become someone else to be strong. And the strengths that carried us through one season may not be the strengths we need for the next. Sometimes adversity asks us to draw more deeply on strengths we already possess. Sometimes it asks us to develop new strengths. And sometimes our greatest strength is allowing someone else to bring strengths we don’t have.
Maybe that’s what strength amidst adversity really looks like. Not becoming invulnerable. Not carrying everything ourselves. But knowing what we bring, knowing when we need something different, and surrounding ourselves with people whose strengths complement our own.
3 TOOLS TO BUILD STRENGTH AMIDST ADVERSITY:
1. Create a “Strength Inventory”
Pause and identify three strengths you’ve used before—perhaps compassion, persistence, humor, resourcefulness, advocacy, flexibility, or courage. Then ask: Which of my strengths does this situation need right now? Our strengths are resources we can intentionally draw upon. And if the situation requires a strength that doesn’t come naturally to us, that doesn't mean we've failed—it may simply mean it's time to develop it or borrow it from someone else.
2. Use the “What Can I Control?” Check-In
Caregiving regularly puts us face-to-face with circumstances we cannot change. When everything feels overwhelming, separate what’s happening into three categories:
What can I control? What can I influence? What do I need to release?
Then choose one small action within your control. Strength isn't controlling the uncontrollable. Sometimes strength is recognizing where our energy can actually make a difference—and giving ourselves permission to release the rest.
3. Build a “Strength Team”
Strength doesn’t have to mean self-reliance. Think about the people around you and ask: What strengths do they bring that complement mine? Maybe you need someone who stays calm when you’re overwhelmed, someone who asks the questions you don't think to ask, someone who makes you laugh, or someone who can step in and simply get things done. Sometimes we become stronger by surrounding ourselves with people who bring what we need when we need it.
Adversity will inevitably ask things of us we never expected. But the goal isn't to become strong enough to handle everything ourselves. It's to recognize the strengths already within us, continue developing the ones we need, and build a community of people whose strengths make all of us stronger.
That’s how we care with courage.