Allow Yourself to Feel Joy
As caregivers, we feel a full range of complicated emotions. On the positive side, helping others can actually help our own mental health and overall well-being. Serving others can reduce stress, improve our mood, and enhance our self-esteem.
On the other hand, we know that caring for others can also have the opposite effect. It can become a time-consuming burden, increase our stress, and reduce our feelings of self-esteem, which can lead to caregiver burnout.
Turning those negative feelings into positives is the point of this week’s topic – finding joy. If we feel caregiver burnout coming on, how can we prevent it and find more joyful moments? The answer, like so many of the things we talk about here, starts with YOU.
Too often, we look to others when we’re seeking joy. It might be words of affirmation such as “I love you” or “thank you.” Or we may be seeking praise for something we did, or an apology for something someone else did.
I suggest that you look inside yourself for what brings you joy … what fills your soul. That’s more sustainable than anything that can come from the outside, and some people can even steal your joy. Each of us has our own story, and there is no such thing as a perfect life. Our joy is up to us to define … and to keep.
Sometimes, the smallest things can bring us great joy. A few months ago, we shared this concept of finding micro-joys, and I thought I would share it again. “The secret to micro-joys is that you are aware and tuned in enough to appreciate them around you. To find the joy, you have to simply be present and ‘smelling the roses,’ even for just a moment.”
Another challenge for caregivers is to realize that denying our own joy does not help our loved one who may be suffering. Everyone is worthy of feeling joy and happiness, without guilt. If feeling joy seems uncomfortable or deceitful to you, consider these questions: Would my improved mood and outlook help me in my caregiver role, and in turn, help my loved one? And does it help my loved one if I deny my own feelings?
If you need more convincing, this article lists some positive ways that joy affects your body.
So, take some time and think about what brings you joy. What are some of the things that have brought you joy today (or yesterday if you’re reading this to start your day)? Remember, everyone deserves to feel joy and happiness, including YOU!