Self-Love Is Courageous … and Unconditional

“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story
is the bravest thing we will ever do.” – Brené Brown

By now, you know that we’re all about courage. It’s in our name, after all. And this week’s topic – self-love – might be the most courageous, important, and difficult gift you can give yourself. It’s an essential part of self-care, and it’s absolutely not selfish.

It’s common for caregivers to struggle with the concept of self-love. We're used to putting the needs of our loved ones first. Our identities can become wrapped up in providing care to others, which can mislead us into thinking that caregiving is our sole purpose. It can lead to feelings of guilt and shame if we think about unconditional love for ourselves, even though we have no problem showing unconditional love for others.

Meanwhile, the world bombards us with messaging that self-care – and self-love – is selfish. It is true that there’s a fine line between a healthy focus on our own happiness and the unhealthy behaviors that stem from narcissism. So, it’s important that we grow our self-love in a healthy way.

To do so, first take time to notice how you think and feel, and what you really need to ensure your happiness. Then, act on meeting those needs. Increase your focus on self-care by adopting better sleep, fitness, and nutrition habits, for example. Don’t focus on things that might make you happy in the short term while diverting your attention from the long term. Keep your eye on the road ahead by focusing on your journey toward growth and self-improvement. And set healthy boundaries for yourself. Don’t allow people, activities, or obligations to drain you of your energy.

Also, remember to practice self-forgiveness. You are human, just like all of us. We all make mistakes, and this doesn’t mean we deserve any less love than anyone else. EASY self-love is loving yourself for your strengths, characteristics, and abilities. HARD self-love allows you to accept your mistakes, failures, limitations, shattered relationships, unrealistic expectations, fears of not being good enough, and the associated pain and complicated emotions that you might carry around. Self-forgiveness means that you know you’re doing the best you can, with what you have, in this moment.

We’re ALL worthy of our own love. I can’t rely on anyone else to tell me this, and neither can you. But if you need help, we’re here at Courage to Caregivers to support YOU in this journey.