If I’m Wrong About This … Let Me Know

“To be radically open-minded, you need to be so open to the possibilities that you could be wrong that you encourage others to tell you so.” – Ray Dalio

I came across the above quote in my research about this week’s topic, open-mindedness, and I love it. In his book called Principles, Ray Dalio says radical open-mindedness is one of the keys to success. Radical open-mindedness is similar to radical acceptance in that it helps us understand and accept reality by moving past our limited points of view. By seeking the opinions of others, we can get closer to the truth and open our minds to new and better solutions. And by doing so, we can eliminate ego barriers and blind spots that keep us from making accurate assessments about ourselves or others. For more quotes from this book, check out Ryan Gottfredson’s blog here.

It’s also important to remember what “open-minded” doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean being indecisive, incapable of thinking for yourself, or being weak in your beliefs. It means that you, your opinions, and your beliefs become that much stronger because you make the effort to consider all facts and points of view before making a decision or taking a stand. If you’re wrong, you want people to let you know.

This way of thinking can also help us deal with the closed-mindedness of others. We can’t control how others might respond; we can only control our own open-mindedness. I’ve struggled with this a lot in the past week or so. As a caregiver to someone I love who is living with a brain difference, it often feels like I’m the only one being open-minded. This makes me feel frustrated, angry, sad, and disappointed. But when I can step away, get some perspective, and capture my breath, I am better able to respond to someone with a very different brain than mine. That’s when I remember that it’s in MY ability to be open-minded, and I can set an example for my loved ones by how I respond. 

And one final thing: Being open-minded includes having empathy for others, even when you don't agree with them. As Brené Brown says, empathy is getting down in the hole with the other person, sitting with that person, being vulnerable together, and making sincere connections. The empathetic and open-minded person recognizes the other person’s struggles and pains … and their differences … without minimizing them.
To be truly open-minded, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and this enables us to grow. But always remember that it’s YOUR mind, and open-mindedness is in YOUR control.