The Process of Being and Becoming

“We don’t learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on experience.” — John Dewey

I don’t know about you, but I have a complicated relationship with New Year’s resolutions. I don’t subscribe to the “New Year—New YOU” mantra. Here at Courage to Caregivers, as we begin our 8th year of providing programs to support unpaid family caregivers and working to prevent caregiver burnout, I am reflecting on all of the practices I have created for myself. One of those is setting intentions, which is our theme for January. Setting intentions for yourself is all about focusing on WHO you want to BE instead of WHAT you want to DO. After all, we’re human beings, not human doers. Being is at the heart of self-care.

I’ve never proclaimed to have the secret sauce, and I’m far from perfect at caring. I always work to do my best, and I have worked hard on my self-compassion to recognize that this is enough—I am enough. Yet, when others ask me “how did you DO it” (it being “survive” my caregiving), the answer is easy. One step at a time. One of my favorite proverbs by Lao Tzu is "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” (So much so that I had t-shirts with that mantra printed for my entire family when my son finally came home after 4 months in the trauma ICU and rehab.) 

There’s no guidebook or map for the long journey of caring for someone you love. I wish there was. It might make the journey easier. But some days I know I need the flexibility to take the road less traveled—to be a trailblazer. I’m a lifelong caregiver now, and that’s not something I ever envisioned for myself. Yet, here I am. Taking one step at a time. Figuring it out as I go. 

3 TOOLS FOR MAPPING YOUR JOURNEY:

1) Caregiving Timeline or Journey Map: Create a simple visual timeline of key moments and turning points in your caregiving journey. Mapping these experiences helps us see patterns and validate how much we’ve carried over time.

2) Energy & Stress Check-In Log: Note what drains you and what restores you—people, tasks, environments, and supports. You can catch early warning signs of overload and intentionally strengthen protective factors like rest, boundaries, and connection before exhaustion sets in.

3) Reflection & Meaning-Making Prompts: Try using short prompts such as “What has helped me get through hard seasons?” or “What strengths has caregiving revealed in me?” Reflecting this way builds self-awareness, reinforces hope, and helps us reconnect with purpose—key buffers against chronic stress and burnout.

As you contemplate who you want to BE in 2026, consider creating a Becoming Board. (I've shared mine below.) Maybe you’ve heard of a Vision Board? A becoming board focuses on the daily habits, mindset, and actions required to transform into your future self, whereas a vision board typically displays the final, aesthetic outcomes you want to achieve. While vision boards focus on the destination, becoming boards emphasize the journey and the person you are becoming.  A becoming board highlights the process. A vision board highlights the results.

I can’t wait to see where you’re going in 2026, and I’m honored to be a part of YOUR journey of caring.