Caregivers play many important roles in their journey of providing care to someone they love - one is that of ADVOCATE. Caregivers advocate on behalf of their loved ones all the time to assure they receive the necessary medical care and support, and that their needs are heard.
As caregivers we're good at caring for and advocating for our loved ones' care and concerns. What about us? Who's advocating for the caregiver? It turns out not only is Courage to Caregivers advocating for family caregivers - many other agencies are as well (check out the second section of resources below).
It's also important as caregivers to advocate for ourselves - self-advocacy. What do you NEED? What are YOUR goals, values, interests and desires? Your loved one, as the patient, has rights (and responsibilities) ... and you do, too!
We see self-advocacy as self-care. Self-advocacy is three-tiered - knowing yourself, knowing what your needs are, and knowing how to get your needs met.
The Self Advocate Net has a great definition of self-advocacy: "Self-advocacy is the ability to speak up for yourself and the things that are important to you. Self-advocacy means you are able to ask for what you need and want and tell people about your thoughts and feelings. The goal of self-advocacy is for you to decide what you want then develop and carry out a plan to help you get it."
5 TOOLS TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF:
NOTICE: What do you NEED? What are your goals, values, interests, and desires? As you focus on building self-awareness, use self-reflection. Remember KNOWLEDGE is power.
SELF-EMPOWERMENT: Self-empowerment allows you to see more in yourself. Self-empowerment starts with BELIEVING in yourself. Notice your SELF-TALK: Stop and reframe. SELF-RESPECT: How can you empower YOURSELF? SELF-WORTH: You are worthy of love, kindness and respect. PERSEVERANCE: Don't give up when things get tough!
YOU'RE NEVER ALONE: Having a SUPPORT NETWORK to support you in your self-advocacy journey is essential. Find someone to fit each of your needs - mental, emotional, social, physical, resources, financial or even validation. Who's cheering you on, and believes in you? Join a support group - our group coaching is a great form of support network!
SELF-REGULATION: Regulating with the 7 Cs:
I didn’t cause it: Accepting you didn't cause your loved one's illness releases feelings of guilt and shame.
I can’t cure it: Care - support - love.
I can’t control it: You can't force someone else's recovery. You can support and encourage.
I can’t change it: Acceptance. My loved one is living with mental illness. Therefore, I am a mental illness caregiver.
YET, I can have courage, compassion and I can COPE.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Caregivers exist in community, whether it is you and your loved one or you and a large family or other system. Learning to be assertive as you communicate will help you in the long run to solve problems, advocate for yourself and help maintain relationships and healthy boundaries. USE "I" LANGUAGE to express your feelings and take responsibility for them.
If it's been awhile since you’ve considered your own needs as a caregiver, find even a micro-moment today to start prioritizing them.
Check out entire August newsletter focused on Advocacy here.
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