Stability Doesn’t Mean Rigidity
“Flexibility is the key to stability.” — John Wooden
Caregiving often requires stability in the middle of uncertainty. Many of us believe that stability means holding firm—sticking to routines, pushing through exhaustion, and keeping everything from falling apart. But stability also requires flexibility, as John Wooden reminds us in the quote above, and flexibility stems from open-mindedness.
For caregivers, open-mindedness isn’t about giving up standards or caring less. It’s about adapting in ways that help us stay grounded over the long haul. When we allow ourselves to be flexible, we reduce the pressure to have everything figured out and make room for a stability that is realistic, humane, and sustainable.
Mental flexibility is a powerful protective factor against burnout. Rigid, all-or-nothing thinking—such as “I have to do this perfectly.” “I can’t slow down.” “There’s only one right way.”—can lead to burnout. Open-mindedness interrupts that cycle by encouraging a both/and mindset— “I can be deeply committed and still need rest.” “I can love fiercely and feel overwhelmed.” This flexibility eases the emotional strain and conserves our energy. Instead of fighting constant internal battles about how things “should” be, let’s stay open-minded and respond to what is, adjusting our expectations as needs change.
3 TOOLS TO CULTIVATE AN OPEN MINDSET:
“What Else Might Be True?” Pause
When feeling stuck, frustrated, or certain there’s only one option, pause and ask: “What else might be true?” or “What’s another way this could work?” This interrupts rigid thinking, lowers emotional reactivity, and opens the door to new solutions or supports.Try-One-Small-Shift Experiment
Instead of overhauling everything, choose one small change to test—trying a new support, adjusting a routine, or asking for help in a different way. Treating caregiving as a series of low-risk experiments builds psychological flexibility and reduces the pressure to “get it right.”Perspective Check-In with Others
Seek input from someone outside our usual bubble—such as a peer caregiver, support group, or trusted professional. Hearing another perspective normalizes our experience, reduces isolation, and reminds us that there are multiple valid ways to care.
Perhaps most importantly, open-mindedness gives us permission to change along our journey. What worked last year, or even last month, may not work now, and that’s not failure; it’s reality. Being open to new routines, new supports, or new ways of caring for yourself creates space for compassion and connection.
I like to think of myself as flexible and open-minded, whether working on a caregiving challenge, or a challenge at work or home. Yet, those closest to me might say I like things a “certain way,” and I suppose that’s true when it comes to order and standards that are important to me. So, let’s just say I’m a perpetually imperfect work in progress here.
It’s OK for stability to be a work in progress. Stability doesn’t come from holding everything rigidly in place—it comes from meeting each season with curiosity and kindness toward yourself. Sometimes the most caring thing you can do is loosen your grip, take a breath, and ask: How could a little flexibility help me feel more stable today?