Let Your Hope Keep You Grounded
Let Your Hope Keep You Grounded

“In a way, life is a constant process of supersurvival, of facing life’s seemingly impossible choices with honesty and faith in ourselves. It’s a capacity all of us share. It’s the capacity to hope.”

– from Supersurvivors by David Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz

I read Supersurvivors by David Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz this year, and it was a very inspiring read. Supersurvival refers to our ability to endure life’s most challenging moments, not just by surviving, but by finding meaning, growth, and purpose beyond the hardship. The quote above emphasizes the resilience, inner strength, and courage that our capacity to hope gives us when we face adversity.

Read More
OutlookKristi HornerHope
NOVEMBER 2024 Newsletter: Collaboration Makes Us Stronger
NOVEMBER 2024 Newsletter: Collaboration Makes Us Stronger

"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." - Helen Keller

Caregiving can feel incredibly isolating. As caregivers, particularly mental illness caregivers, we can sometimes feel as if we do not have the right to tell our stories since they are really our loved ones' stories of living with mental illness or other chronic and serious illnesses. Additionally, when surrounded by people we feel "do not understand," it's easy to feel judged or shamed for our choices. Finding a space where we can be vulnerable or authentic can be challenging and, at times, feel downright impossible.

Fortunately, we are not alone. Courage to Caregivers is dedicated to bringing together caregivers to create a community of CARE. We are here to support you - as a caregiver - as YOU - in your personal growth journey towards greater health and well-being.  When you take care of yourself (too), you provide better care to those you love.  

This month, we have explored how we can better collaborate with those around us through MANAGING our perceptions, AVOIDING comparing and despairing, and FINDING gratitude. Remember, you are never alone. 

3 TOOLS FOR COLLABORATION:

  1. Practice Active Listening - By listening to understand rather than to respond, we can better connect with those around us.

  2. Be Empathetic - By feeling "with" others rather than "for," we can more strongly understand where people are coming from.

  3. Ask for What You Need - By being specific about what we need from the people who want to be there for us, we can help others in supporting ourselves.

Check out our entire November newsletter focused on Collaboration here.

Read More
CollaborationKristi HornerForgiveness, Gratitude, Managing Perceptions, Compare and Despair
The Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude
The Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. It opens the door to forgiveness, compassion, and serenity.” – Robert A. Emmons

When things get rough and nothing seems to be going our way, taking time to reflect on things we’re grateful for can often lift our spirits. And when we’re feeling resentment toward the actions of others, being able to show some forgiveness can help us feel better. But forgiveness and gratitude are far more than temporary actions that might help us get through difficult moments in our lives. They can be powerful tools for driving personal growth and healing troubled relationships.

Read More
CollaborationKristi HornerForgiveness, Gratitude
Practice Compassion, Not Comparison
Practice Compassion, Not Comparison

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

– Wendy Mass (also attributed to Plato and others)

We love the quote above, and we use it a lot. For me, this quote is a great connector, encouraging compassion and empathy, urging us to treat others with unconditional kindness and understanding.

But what if we showed ourselves the same kind of compassion? In our efforts for self-improvement, we can sometimes fall into the trap of compare and despair. We look at others and focus on areas where we feel we are lacking. This type of distorted thinking can lead to depression, anxiety, shame, jealousy, self-criticism, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence. Yet, if we take a moment to practice some self-compassion – realizing that we are no better or worse than anyone else fighting their own battles – we can begin to treat ourselves with the same kindness and encouragement that we give to others. 

Read More
CollaborationKristi HornerCompare and Despair
The Foundation of Perceptions
The Foundation of Perceptions

“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.”  ~ Leonardo da Vinci

One of the most powerful tools we have in our journey of self-growth is the ability to manage perceptions. It can also be one of the hardest to put into action.

Our perceptions form the foundation of everything we know and believe. They influence how we gather and interpret information. They shape the way we think, affect the way we learn, and guide our decision-making. So it’s natural to feel uncomfortable when we encounter something that challenges the reality we thought we knew based on our perceptions. Recognizing that we all have beliefs and biases that stem from our unique perceptions is important both for self-growth and for strengthening our connections with those around us.

Read More
CollaborationKristi HornerManaging Perceptions
OCTOBER 2024 Newsletter: Choose Courage
OCTOBER 2024 Newsletter: Choose Courage

What comes to mind when you hear the word "COURAGE?" Do you think of larger-than-life figures? The battles and revolutions you studied in school? The brave actions that individuals and communities have taken across time to change the world? Courage is a term that we hear often, yet we struggle sometimes to attribute to ourselves. 

However, this month, we recognized the big and small ways we can be courageous in our everyday lives. Whether it is through LEARNING from our mistakes, FINDING strength amidst adversity, CHOOSING progress over perfection, or SAYING no, we bring courage to ourselves as caregivers.

Brené Brown says it best in her book The Gifts of Imperfection: "The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’

“Over time, this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics is important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today’s world that’s pretty extraordinary.”

3 TOOLS TO CULTIVATE COURAGE:

  1. Notice and Accept Your Thoughts and Emotions - It is natural to feel scared, stressed, and overwhelmed at times. Life is hard, and unexpected situations and events can occur! There is no shame in experiencing emotions. What matters is what we do with them.

  2. Embrace Your Fears, and Share with Others - Recognize which of your fears are legitimate and which are unfounded. Remember, you are NOT alone. Find your community of support. Join our group coaching here!

  3. Own Your Power, and Choose Courage - Courage is something we can learn. Take stock of your strengths and room for growth, and courageously take action. You got this!

Check out our entire October newsletter focused on Courage here.

Read More
Kristi HornerLearn From Mistakes, Learning From Mistakes, Strength Amidst Adversity, Strength, Progress Over Perfection, Learn to Say NO
Sometimes We Have to Say “No”
Sometimes We Have to Say “No”

“When you learn to say yes to yourself, you will be able to say no to others, with love.” – Alain Cohen

It can be one of the most difficult things we have to do – saying no. But sometimes it’s the right thing to do. As we navigate our way through our lives, we can’t be all things to all people. It’s natural that some opportunities, tasks, or commitments simply don’t align with where we are at this point in our journey. Learning to say no is an essential skill for protecting our time, energy, and well-being. While it may be uncomfortable and even against our nature to say no, it’s a powerful way to set healthy boundaries and prioritize what truly matters.

Read More
CourageKristi HornerJust Say No
How to Be Perfectly Imperfect
How to Be Perfectly Imperfect

“Have the courage to be imperfect.” – Alfred Fidler

I say it all the time: “I’m a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress.” But this week, I get to dig deeper into what I mean by that. Our topic – progress over perfection – focuses on what we can gain by shifting from an all-or-nothing perfectionist attitude to one that cultivates progress, resilience, and excellence. When we realize it’s our progress that matters, and not our imperfections, we empower ourselves to grow – to be the best “work in progress” that we can be. 

Read More
CourageKristi HornerProgress Over Perfection
Feeling Stronger Every Day
Feeling Stronger Every Day

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela

When it comes to this week’s topic, finding strength amidst adversity, it’s not hard to find lots of inspirational quotes. In addition to the one from Nelson Mandela above, here are a few of my favorites.

  • “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” ~ C.S. Lewis

  • “All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.” ~ Helen Keller

  • “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

Read More
CourageKristi HornerStrength Amidst Adversity
The Power of Admitting a Mistake
The Power of Admitting a Mistake

"The most successful people are not the ones who never fail, but the ones who learn from their failures." ~ Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

It’s part of being human. We see a problem that needs fixing, or something important that needs to be done, and with the best of intentions, we do something that just turns out all wrong. We’ve made a mistake, and as I like to say, it’s all part of being a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress.

Read More
CourageKristi HornerLearn From Mistakes, Learning From Mistakes
SEPTEMBER 2024 Newsletter: Strength Lies in Tenacity
SEPTEMBER 2024 Newsletter: Strength Lies in Tenacity

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity...You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward." ~ Amelia Earhart

When was the last time you didn't give up? What motivated you to persist? TENACITY is defined by Cambridge Dictionary as "the determination to continue what you are doing." However, as we all know, finding and growing this determination is hardly ever simple. Everyday, we feel overwhelmed by our seemingly endless tasks and responsibilities. However, we have the tools within ourselves to keep going.

3 TOOLS TO DEVELOP TENACITY

  1. Growth Mindset - By remembering that we are all capable of learning and changing, we can overcome setbacks and determine what is within our reach.

  2. Adaptability and Flexibility - When facing uncertainty, being able to adapt and pivot is essential to supporting our loved ones and giving them the care they need in the moment.

  3. Positive Mindset - We ALL make mistakes and it's how we learn from them and grow that allows us to overcome doubt and build resilience.

Embracing our inner tenacity can be challenging, but by being PERSISTENT, developing REALISTIC OPTIMISM, and finding our COPING MECHANISMS, we can prepare ourselves for the hurdles we face and discover our determination to keep moving forward. Remember, you got this!

Check out our entire September newsletter focused on Tenacity here.

Read More
TenacityKristi HornerCoping mechanisms, Coping, Optimism, Realistic Optimism, Persistence
Practice Tolerance, and De-Stress from Distress
Practice Tolerance, and De-Stress from Distress

“When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage.”  ~ Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress

Our topic this week is coping mechanisms, and I want to talk about one particular skill – distress tolerance – which helps us manage and cope with crises or situations that trigger intense emotions.

If you’ve been following us for a while, you know I’m a huge fan of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and distress tolerance is one of the four key skills of DBT: mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. Each of these skills plays a critical role in managing difficult emotions and navigating life challenges.

Read More
TenacityKristi HornerCoping mechanisms, Coping
Realistic Optimism Means Staying in Balance
Realistic Optimism Means Staying in Balance

“Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better.”

– from Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman

At Courage to Caregivers, empowerment is one of the three areas we focus on for caregivers, along with education and support. This week’s topic of realistic optimism is all about empowerment. It empowers us to learn from our failures, view risks as opportunities for growth, and find gratitude even in unmet expectations. 

Now, the pessimist in you might say, “That’s a lot to expect from realistic optimism. Nothing can do all that.” But the realistic optimist might say, “I’m not sure it can do all that, but I’ll read on to learn more.”

Read More
TenacityKristi HornerRealistic Optimism, Optimism
Persistence – A Common Trait in Caregivers
Persistence – A Common Trait in Caregivers

“Success is not the absence of failure; it’s the persistence through failure.”  – Aisha Tyler

For caregivers, it’s common to feel overwhelmed at times and to be tempted to give up. But do you know what’s also common? Our persistence. Among all the traits associated with caregivers, persistence might be the most frequently mentioned.

Why? Maybe it’s because a caregiver’s tasks and responsibilities can feel never-ending, yet we still endure. And any progress for our loved one may be difficult to recognize, yet we continue to hope. And we may encounter many barriers between us and our goals, yet we maintain our commitment to do the hard work necessary to overcome them.

Read More
TenacityKristi HornerPersistence
AUGUST 2024 Newsletter: We Can ALL Be Advocates
AUGUST 2024 Newsletter: We Can ALL Be Advocates

"All advocacy is, at its core, an exercise in empathy.” ~ Samantha Power⁣​​​​​​​​​

There are so many ways we can show up as advocates. ADVOCACY is defined by the Missouri Foundation for Health as “any action that speaks in favor of, recommends, argues for a cause, supports or defends, or pleads on behalf of others.” As caregivers, we balance many of these roles as we stand up for ourselves, our loved ones, and fellow caregivers.

The West Virginia University Health Science Center denotes three types of advocacy: self-advocacy, individual advocacy, and systems advocacy.

There are numerous ways we can be advocates, but, as Erin Galyean emphasizes in her book "Badass Advocate," we can't do them alone. That's why this month we have stressed the importance of CREATING our support networks, MANAGING our stress, and COMMUNICATING effectively. By finding hope and support in one another, we can heal and recover together.

"A Badass Advocate doesn't try to do it all by herself, rather she leads to a strong team who works to fight for the patient." - Erin Galyean, author of "Badass Advocate"

Check out our entire August newsletter focused on Advocacy here.

Read More
Kristi HornerManaging Stress, Understanding Stress, Communication, Effective Communication, Support Team, Support Network
Reframe Stress, and Get Unstuck
Reframe Stress, and Get Unstuck

“Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you.” – Emily & Amelia Nagoski

One of the main challenges caregivers have to face is managing stress. This topic is so important at Courage to Caregivers that we spend much of our time looking for new resources and tools to help you manage stress. That’s because we discovered early on that stress is a natural part of caregiving – and of life – so we can’t eliminate it from our lives, no matter how much we would like to. What we can do is empower caregivers with the tools they need to better manage and cope with the stress of caregiving.

Managing and coping with stress are two different subjects, and we’ll discuss coping at a later date. This week is all about stress management, which involves developing a set of skills that help us eliminate the negative mental and physical responses that our bodies have to stress.

Read More
AdvocacyKristi HornerStress, Understanding Stress, Managing Stress
It Takes Courage to Ask
It Takes Courage to Ask

“Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help.” – Brené Brown

As caregivers, we often feel alone in our journey – in our pain, our joys, and our caring. But this journey of life was not meant to be taken alone. We all need a strong support network for ourselves AND each other.

Having a support network as a caregiver is essential, and it’s a two-way street. Supporting other people also allows us to contribute and feel valued beyond our caregiving role.  

Yet, it can be hard to ask for help. We all like to be considered strong, independent, and capable, and asking for support seems like a show of weakness. But asking for help actually shows incredible strength and courage. It takes a strong but humble person to recognize when help is needed and that it’s OK to ask. We are all imperfect, and we can grow by letting others help us through a challenge or a crisis.

Read More
AdvocacyKristi HornerSupport Network, Creating Your Support Network
JULY 2024 Newsletter: Your Journey to Wellness Starts Today
JULY 2024 Newsletter: Your Journey to Wellness Starts Today

There are 8 dimensions of wellness. If we think of wellness as a journey towards the healthiest, best version of ourselves - focused on our mind, body, and soul, we can embark knowing that, as caregivers, when we're healthy, we provide better care to those we love. 

The Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services (OhioMHAS) defines wellness as "a broad approach for things individuals can do at their own pace, in their own time, and within their own abilities, that can help them feel better and live longer." 

Wellness is also an essential component of RECOVERY. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines "recovery from mental disorders and/or substance use disorders as a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential."

SAMHSA has delineated four dimensions that support a life in recovery:

  1. HEALTH - Overcoming or managing one's disease(s) or symptoms;

  2. HOME - A stable and safe place to live;

  3. PURPOSE - Meaningful daily activities, such as job, school, volunteerism, family caretaking, or creative endeavors, and the independence, income and resources to participate in society;

  4. COMMUNITY - Relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

According to SAMHSA, "Recovery emerges from hope: The belief that recovery is real provides the essential and motivating message of a better future—that people can and do overcome the internal and external challenges, barriers, and obstacles that confront them. Hope is internalized and can be fostered by peers, families, providers, allies, and others. Hope is the catalyst of the recovery process."

While we see ourselves in the caregiver burnout prevention business - empowering caregivers to better cope and manage the stress of caregiving - we know that our work falls solidly in the area of RECOVERY. 

Recovery IS possible. Both for our loved ones AND ourselves. Recovery isn't linear - it's a journey - with all the twists and turns that life brings. Recovery as a caregiver involves focusing on OUR health and wellness, too. If we don't take care of ourselves - sleep, movement, hydration and nutrition, as well as our mental health - how can we possibly care for someone else? 

Check out our entire July newsletter focused on WELLNESS here.

Read More
WellnessKristi HornerSleep Hygiene, Sleep, Move With Courage, Movement, Move Your Body, Motivation, Self-Discipline, Sanctuary, Peace, Inner Peace
Take a Break, Find Your Sanctuary
Take a Break, Find Your Sanctuary

My time in my garden is precious to me. It feels very therapeutic to dig in the dirt. I love how the colors, scents, textures, and sounds activate ALL of my senses while I’m gardening. And there’s something magical about watching things grow and thrive before my eyes. My garden shows me that change for the good may be hard, but it is possible. My garden shows me HOPE. It’s my sanctuary.

Read More
WellnessKristi HornerSanctuary, Inner Peace, Peace