Let Your Self-Discipline Motivate You
Let Your Self-Discipline Motivate You

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar

Our topic for this week, self-discipline vs. motivation, might sound like a competition, but it’s really more of a distinction. Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do things you know you should do when you don’t want to do them. Motivation is a willingness to do something based on a desire to achieve a goal and an excitement about the process. While your motivation identifies your “why,” your self-discipline helps give you the “how” or the means to get there.

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WellnessKristi HornerSelf-Discipline, Motivation
Move for Yourself and for Others
Move for Yourself and for Others

To introduce this week’s topic, move with courage, I want you to answer this question honestly: Are you in your best shape (whatever that may look like for you)? If not, have you considered that being out of shape may not only be keeping you from achieving your goals but might also be affecting the quality of care that you’re giving your loved one?

I know those are difficult questions, but we all need to face them. Amidst all of our daily responsibilities, we may tell ourselves that our personal health is a lower priority than other goals. Yet, when we realize that our personal health plays a role in our ability to fulfill all those other responsibilities, it’s easier to commit to staying active and being the best version of ourselves that we can be.

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WellnessKristi HornerMovement, Move Your Body, Move With Courage
Sleep Is Forgiving
Sleep Is Forgiving

“Prioritizing good sleep is practicing good self-love.” – Unknown

This month’s theme is wellness, and one of the best ways you can promote your own wellness is to practice good sleep hygiene. As the above quote states, good sleep is part of self-love! And good sleep hygiene involves setting boundaries – with others and yourself – to make it a practice to get all the sleep your physical and mental health needs, each and every night.

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WellnessKristi HornerSleep Hygiene, Sleep
JUNE 2024 Newsletter: EMPOWERMENT ... You Have the Power in YOU 🙌🏻
JUNE 2024 Newsletter: EMPOWERMENT ... You Have the Power in YOU 🙌🏻

Building on our recent themes of common humanity (as humans we all experience pain, suffering, and stress) and growth mindset (we have the ability to grow and learn) - the theme of EMPOWERMENT is nicely layered in. "There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth." ~ Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember. 

You've heard us say before - we can't remove the stress of caregiving. What we CAN do is empower caregivers to better cope and manage the stress of caregiving. This empowerment is what makes our work sustainable! We believe in empowerment so much that it's one of our core values. We define empowerment as strengths-focused, valuing abilities, goals, and learning. 

EMPOWERMENT is a process of BECOMING. ​​​​​​​​​WHO do you want to BE or become? WHAT do you want to achieve or accomplish? WHEN are you going to do that next right thing that sets you on the course of accomplishing your personal goals? What's your WHY - that reason you get up and out of bed each morning? 

3 TOOLS FOR MANIFESTING EMPOWERMENT

  1. MINDSET: What you THINK you BECOME! Notice - what is your current mindset? How do you feel about it? Do you want to make a change? You can SHIFT your mindset - make a list of your core values - how you want to BE and become - and set a goal (or two) towards pursuing those!

  2. SELF-AWARENESS: A better understanding of yourself and what your needs are is an important component of becoming who you want to BE. Analyze your strengths and opportunities for growth. How do you want to grow and what can you learn? YOUR feelings are important - you are worthy of love and respect (too).

  3. COMMUNITY: Find a community that cares - that lifts you up when you can't stand - that believes in you, and your potential, when you're feeling low. Surround yourself with like-minded, motivated people who empower you to be the best version of yourself.

Check out our entire June newsletter focused on Empowerment here.

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EmpowermentKristi HornerBoundaries, Healthy Boundaries, Holding Space For Yourself, Holding Space, Creativity, Tapping Into Creativity
Give Yourself the Gift of Saying “No”
Give Yourself the Gift of Saying “No”

"The ability to say no to yourself is a gift. If you can resist your urges, change your habits, and say yes to only what you deem truly meaningful, you'll be practicing healthy self-boundaries. It's your responsibility to care for yourself without excuses." – Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself 

Can you think of saying “no” to yourself as a GIFT? It is – and it’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself. It’s also a responsibility. I see setting self-boundaries as part of my responsibility to care for myself, the same way I naturally see my responsibility to provide care for my loved ones. 

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EmpowermentKristi HornerBoundaries, Healthy Boundaries
You Deserve Some Space, Too
You Deserve Some Space, Too

“Only when I am present for myself and compassionate with myself will I be prepared to host with strength and courage.” – Heather Plett

To introduce this week’s topic, here are some insights from How to Hold Space for Yourself First, an article by Heather Plett: “What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control.”

What if we could do that for OURSELVES? Let go of judgment and control and give ourselves a huge dose of self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-compassion. As caregivers, we’re good at holding space for others, but we’re not always good at holding space for ourselves.

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EmpowermentKristi HornerHolding Space For Yourself, Holding Space
Start Your Creative Journey
Start Your Creative Journey

“UNICORN SPACE: the active and open pursuit of creative self-expression that makes you uniquely you.” 

– Eve Rodsky

We talk about a lot of weighty subjects in this email every week, but this week’s topic is all about having fun! Tapping into our creativity is a healthy and fulfilling way to have fun, and it can lead to self-growth and improvement on many levels.

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EmpowermentKristi HornerCreativity, Tapping Into Creativity
MAY 2024 NEWSLETTER: Who are you BECOMING? Growth Mindset at it's BEST! 🌱
MAY 2024 NEWSLETTER: Who are you BECOMING? Growth Mindset at it's BEST! 🌱

Carol Dweck, Ph.D, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, coined the terms fixed and growth mindset to describe beliefs around learning and intelligence.

Having a growth mindset allows you to BELIEVE in yourself and see yourself as growing. A growth mindset is our belief that we have the power to develop our talents and build our abilities. We can improve ourselves, develop new skills, embrace challenges, overcome setbacks, and reach our potential. Nothing but opportunity and possibility! 

"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don't belong." ~ Unknown

Having a GROWTH MINDSET is truly the POWER of YET 🌱

When you learn the power of YET, you will forever and always change your language. When you begin to use this one small word - YET - it can make a profound difference. As caregivers, we often hear some of the following ... consider adding YET!

I can't do this ... YET

This doesn't work ... YET

I don't know ... YET

It doesn't make sense ... YET

I don't get it ... YET

I'm not good at this ... YET

Believe in yourself and ANYTHING is possible. BELIEVE ... that you CAN ... that you're WORTHY ... that you are ENOUGH. Believe in yourself and you're halfway there! When negative self-talk and self-doubt creep in, remember the word IMPOSSIBLE says it all ... I'M POSSIBLE. 

Check out our entire May Newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here.

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerStaying Curious, Black and White Thinking, Thin, Polarized Thinking, Redefining Guilt & Shame, Guilt, Shame, Recommit Don't Quit!
Is It Time to Recommit?
Is It Time to Recommit?

“Don’t give up on the person you’re becoming.” – Unknown

Back in January, I set an intention to “find ME again” in 2024. This was the result of a rough end of 2023 for me as a caregiver. I was exhausted, and I longed for a version of myself that felt better, like my “old” self.

Well, almost five months have passed, and I’ve discovered that maybe this intention was not realistic. My caregiving has changed me in many ways, some positive and some negative. I continually find myself tested, but these tests offer opportunities for growth – growing in patience, setting boundaries, active listening, and having hard conversations.

Perhaps a more realistic intention for 2024 is to “find who I am BECOMING.” How can I take what I’ve learned to be the best version of the NEW me? That’s something I can recommit to – which brings us to this week’s topic: recommit, don’t quit.

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerRecommit Don't Quit!
A Grain of Truth Is Easy to Miss
A Grain of Truth Is Easy to Miss

“ ‘Yes, and’ reminds us that there are multiple truths and that we, therefore, do not have to simply reject someone when they challenge our assumptions.”

–  Toby Sinclair recap from “Both/And Thinking” by Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis

As we continue to explore this month’s theme of how to develop a growth mindset, we’re finding that some ways of thinking can be beneficial to our progress while other ways of thinking can hold us back. Last week, we discussed how curiosity can help us grow by opening our minds to new ideas and opening ourselves to new connections. This week’s topic is the opposite of curiosity – thinking in extremes can close our minds to the truths that others might see from their perspective, thus inhibiting our growth. 

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerBlack and White Thinking, Either/Or, Both/And, Thinking in Extremes, Polarized Thinking
Connecting Through Curiosity
Connecting Through Curiosity

“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.” – Albert Einstein

Our theme for this month is growth mindset, and one of the most effective ways of ensuring that our minds remain focused on growth is by staying curious. When we stay curious, we grow by exploring those parts of ourselves and our world that we might be unfamiliar with. By asking the basic questions of who, what, where, when, why, and how, we can gain a new understanding of ourselves and our environment. In doing so, we open up opportunities for both self-growth and making new connections with others in our world.

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerStaying Curious, Curiosity
APRIL 2024 NEWSLETTER: We're in this TOGETHER 🤲
APRIL 2024 NEWSLETTER: We're in this TOGETHER 🤲

Every single one of us has a STORY. Not one of us is spared life's challenges - after all - that's LIFE! And ... I don't need to remind you that life can be HARD. 

Many times our caregiver stories are "invisible" - just like the invisible illnesses many of our loved ones face. 

Life is filled with moments of joy AND ordinary AND pain. In my most tender moments supporting loved ones (or myself) through immense physical or emotional pain, I've shared my thoughts on how we might navigate our one and precious life. We were never promised a life of only the “good” emotions - like joy and happiness - life comes with the good AND bad - a full spectrum of experiences. 

How often do you find yourself asking "why ME?" I've been known to say this and "enough is enough" - how much pain can one person endure?

Sometimes, life feels unfair.

But as you navigate your story - your journey of life - remember, you are NEVER alone. Never alone in your joy OR your pain. We're on this caregiver journey TOGETHER. 

When I founded Courage to Caregivers - it was a passion project. After losing our brother to suicide, my sisters and I knew NO ONE should take this journey - of providing care to someone they love living with mental illness - ALONE. We had felt so very alone all those years providing mental and emotional support for our brother. Just like he did. Yet, we were facing this together.  

Over the years, talking with people, hearing their stories, holding their hands on their journey of pain - whether it be grief, loss of any kind, chronic pain, physical pain, emotional pain, isolation, or loneliness - it can feel hard and overwhelming. One of the things I've learned is ... people want to know they aren't ALONE. We work to validate each caregiver's experience and affirm and normalize their feelings. Allowing each caregiver to feel seen, heard, and understood.  

“The very definition of being 'human' means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.” ~ Kristin Neff

Walking hand in hand with someone else is one of our greatest gifts to each other. Common humanity = you are NEVER alone.

Check out our entire April Newsletter focused on Common Humanity here.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerBreaking Through Loneliness, Loneliness, Grief, Loss, Bridging Differences, Building Bridges
Beating Loneliness Through Self-Connection
Beating Loneliness Through Self-Connection

“Loneliness is a subjective feeling where the connections we need are greater than the connections we have.” – Dr. Vivek Murthy

You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.

Caregivers often feel alone when the loved ones we care for are withdrawn or unable to connect with the rest of the world in traditional ways. We also can get caught up in always trying to do something for someone else. This can lead to a feeling of loneliness as we disconnect from the rest of the world … and even from ourselves. Unchecked over the long term, this disconnect can make it hard for us to identify our own needs and seek support from others when we need it. To break through the loneliness, we need to find healthy ways to reconnect with others and ourselves.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerLoneliness, Breaking Through Loneliness, Connection
Don’t Let Grief Block the Sun
Don’t Let Grief Block the Sun

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot.” – Jamie Anderson

We experienced an unusual spectacle in northeast Ohio and many other parts of the country this week as people came together to celebrate a few minutes of darkness in the middle of the day during the total solar eclipse. While the idea of an eclipse can be used to symbolize many things, I couldn’t help thinking that it was a perfect metaphor for our topic this week – grief and loss. 

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Common HumanityKristi HornerGrief, loss
Building Bridges for Support
Building Bridges for Support

“It takes both sides to build a bridge.” – Fredrik Nael

A lot of what we talk about at Courage to Caregivers involves the self – self-growth, self-knowledge, self-empowerment. But this month, we’re expanding our view as we consider our place within common humanity. And this week’s topic of building bridges is all about understanding, interacting with, and showing support for others.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerBridging Differences, Building Bridges
MARCH 2024 NEWSLETTER: Living Mindfully - Presence is the best present 💝
MARCH 2024 NEWSLETTER: Living Mindfully - Presence is the best present 💝

As a caregiver, do you feel you're mindful (living in the present moment) or is your mind full (overwhelmed, scattered, trying to do too much, or multi-tasking)?
 
For me, I find myself constantly teetering between BOTH, but if I'm being honest, I most often find my mind FULL. But 2023 my intention was to be more present - for myself and others. I made a concerted effort in my goal setting to focus on the here and now. 2023 quickly became one of my most challenging caregiving years. Caring for aging parents (and bonus parents), as well as a young adult with a traumatic brain injury, is hard on a good day - and we had many road blocks with detours in 2023. I lost sight of ME and felt pulled in too many directions. 
 
Mindfulness is the ability to focus on the present moment while calmly recognizing and accepting your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Mindfulness is being fully present, aware of where you are and what you’re doing while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is happening around you. When you are mindful you are free of both the past and future and free of judgment of right and wrong. Mindfulness for caregivers means learning to live in the moment, accepting the reality of your situation, and filtering out distractions.

Check out our entire March Newsletter focused on MINDFULNESS here!

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MindfulnessKristi HornerBeing Present, Living Mindfully, Regulating Emotions, 90-Second Rule, Happiness, Laughter
A Little Laughter Can Mean a Lot
A Little Laughter Can Mean a Lot

“A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.” – Madeleine L’Engle, “A Ring of Endless Light”

This week’s topic seems like it should be easy, but sometimes it feels like the hardest thing in the world. Caregiving can put us on an emotional roller coaster at times, filled with stress, decision-making, and sacrifice. Taking a moment to experience happiness and laughter may feel awkward or inappropriate at those times, but it’s also a great way to cope and might be exactly what we need as a stress reliever.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerHappiness, Laughter
Appreciate the Little Things
Appreciate the Little Things

“Now is the time to be aware of the present moment. I let go of the past and the future.” – Positive Psychology

Have you ever truly focused on something simple that you’re doing … without any distractions … something like eating a strawberry? If you do, you might notice both the simplicity and the richness of your action and the strawberry. You might close your eyes, take small bites, and savor the taste, smell, and feel of the strawberry with each bite. In doing so, you become fully present in that moment, and you may feel a sense of peace or wonder come over you.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerBeing Present, Living Mindfully
The Fleeting Nature of Emotions
The Fleeting Nature of Emotions

“You feel angry? … You feel great? … This too shall pass.” – Tom Hanks

You probably know that we’re all about empowerment at Courage to Caregivers. And one of the best ways we can empower ourselves is by truly understanding our feelings and emotions – what we feel, why we feel that way, and how to keep our emotions from gaining control over us.

By learning to regulate our emotions, we are able to get back to our emotional center. This doesn’t mean we should try to suppress our feelings or pretend they don’t exist. We’re talking about recognizing our emotions for what they are – natural, instinctive responses that are neither good nor bad in and of themselves. It’s how we act after feeling those emotions that makes all the difference.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerRegulating Emotions, Emotions, 90-Second Rule