DECEMBER 2025 Newsletter - OUTLOOK: The Key to Looking Out is Looking In

“It's your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don't take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.” - Betty White

How would you describe your outlook on life? Hopeful? Cautious? Fluid? Static? Taking the time to understand our outlooks can help us better understand how we react to the various people, situations, and challenges we face in our lives. Our outlooks can have powerful impacts on the decisions we make. Do we take advantage of an opportunity that comes our way or do we let it pass? How much do we believe in our own inner strengths and our abilities to find support?

Cambridge Dictionary defines OUTLOOK as "a person's way of understanding and thinking about something." When we have a hopeful outlook, we are able to feel motivated to learn and improve. When we are open-minded, we feel capable of turning possibilities into realities. While simply changing our outlooks will not erase all of the barriers we face in life, it can help guide us to certain actions and energize us to persevere and obtain the support we need.

3 TOOLS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY OUTLOOK

Have a hope-centered mindset.Hope reminds us of our inner strengths and ability to enact change. As the world shifts around us, our hope can also wax and wane, but remember that hope is not a finite resource. We can always find hope in ourselves and in our surrounding environments and communities.
Cultivate inner peace. Our days can be filled with chaos and it is easy to feel as if we have no control over our own lives. However, by taking the time, even if it's only five minutes, to find our inner calm, we can feel more prepared to tackle the challenges we face.
Embrace possibility thinking. By engaging with possibilities, we can allow ourselves to recognize what we want to happen in our lives. Once we recognize what we want, we can then understand the steps we have to take to make those wishes come true.

Check out the complete December 2025 Newsletter focused on Outlook here.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 24, 2025Inner Calm, Inner Peace, Opportunity, Possibility, Hope, Winter Solstice

The Winter Solstice: A Time for Caregivers to Pause, Reflect, and Begin Again

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” — Rumi

For unpaid family caregivers, the winter solstice often feels less like a calendar event and more like a mirror. It is the longest night of the year—a season that echoes the exhaustion, isolation, and emotional weight that caregiving can bring. Rather than asking us to push through or “stay positive,” the solstice offers something caregivers rarely receive: permission to pause (especially at this hectic time of year). It invites us to acknowledge the darkness honestly, without judgment, and to honor all we have done to simply keep showing up.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 23, 2025Winter Solstice

When One Door Closes, Another Opportunity Opens

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

Like you, I am no stranger to challenges. I have faced many difficulties throughout my life. I have learned that I have the choice to look at these times in my life as challenges or opportunities. Just like learning from my mistakes, I try to learn what I can during times of personal or professional distress.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 18, 2025Opportunity, Possibility

A Calm Center Is the Foundation of Courage

“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” — Unknown

In an increasingly uncertain and turbulent world, cultivating inner calm has become essential for staying grounded and connected to what truly matters. Experts across psychology, spirituality, and personal growth emphasize that inner calm begins with turning inward—allowing ourselves to gently acknowledge our fears, vulnerabilities, and emotional divides. As Tara Brach explains, when we courageously make space for our own difficult feelings with kindness and presence, we strengthen our ability to extend compassion to others. This inner tenderness becomes the foundation for greater peace, intention, and connection, helping us navigate anxiety, conflict, and the weight of the world with clarity and resilience.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 11, 2025Inner Calm, Inner Peace

Hope Is a Skill

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” — Christopher Reeve

Overall, I am a very hope-filled person. Yet, there have been times when I haven’t always been able to find hope. I wouldn’t say I was hopeless, but I have supported loved ones who were. When providing mental and emotional support for my brother who lived with anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, as well as suicidal ideation, I believed he had given up on hope. As he gradually lost hope, I felt hope slipping away for me, too. So much that when our family created our walk team for the local suicide prevention organizations we support, we named ourselves the “Hope Seekers.”

I found my way back to hope. It was a conscious choice—a mindset—and something I have worked on for many years. I have since studied the science behind hope, and what I’ve discovered is nothing short of inspiring.

Hope isn’t just a feel-good emotion, it’s a powerful, measurable driver of well-being. Two large research efforts, including a 14-year study of 25,000 adults, found that people with high levels of hope experience better health, stronger relationships, greater resilience, and improved economic, educational, and employment outcomes. Unlike optimism, which is simply believing things will get better, hope reflects determination, agency, and the ability to take action. Hopeful individuals are less affected by negative life events, adapt more quickly, and feel a greater sense of meaning in life. Researchers emphasize that hope is a skill that can be developed at any age and may be one of the strongest predictors of long-term fulfillment, longevity, and overall quality of life.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 4, 2025Hope

NOVEMBER 2025 Newsletter - Caring with Collaboration: The Power of Working Together

“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”

- Shannon L. Adler

We can't go through life without collaboration. Whether we're listening to and acting on our loved one's needs or scheduling a meetup with friends, we are constantly collaborating with those around us. However, as caregivers, opening ourselves up to collaboration can feel particularly complicated. It's not uncommon to find ourselves feeling isolated as we wonder if our peers and coworkers can understand our journeys and as we feel pressured to take on our responsibilities alone. We may even question whether or not we have the right to tell our stories as it is our loved one's stories of living with mental illness and other chronic or serious illnesses.

At Courage to Caregivers, we make it clear that you are not alone. When we recognize and honor the strengths and wisdom of both the people around us and ourselves and become open to collaboration, we are able to work together to care for not just our loved ones but also ourselves. We are much stronger together than we are alone.

3 TOOLS FOR COLLABORATION

Practice Active Listening - By listening to understand rather than to respond, we can better connect with those around us.
Be Empathetic - By feeling "with" others rather than "for," we can more strongly understand where people are coming from.
Ask for What You Need - By being specific about what we need from the people who want to be there for us, we can help others in supporting ourselves.

Check out the complete November 2025 Newsletter focused on Collaboration here.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 26, 2025Managing Perceptions, Compare, Compare and Despair, Gratitude

Coping with Grief and Loss at the Holidays

“During your time of grief, the very rituals of the holidays can help you survive them.” ~ Alan Wolfelt

While we covered grief and loss as our topic way back in April (you can search what I’ve shared about grief over the years on our blog here), I wanted to share that we lost our 92-year-old-Dad last week, and one of the ways I process my grief and loss is through writing and sharing my story. It also feels like a good time to share some thoughts around coping with grief and loss at the holidays - for me, and perhaps for you, too? Even if you haven’t lost someone you love physically, as caregivers we face complicated grief and ambiguous loss in our caring every day.

OutlookKristi HornerNovember 24, 2025Grief, Loss, Hope, Holidays

Gratitude Can Help You Carry the Load

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

~ Melody Beattie

For unpaid family caregivers, our days can be filled with both deep love and deep exhaustion. While it’s easy to focus on what’s hard or what we wish were different, cultivating an attitude of gratitude can help us protect our emotional and mental well-being.

Gratitude is a powerful tool—it shifts our focus from what’s missing to what’s meaningful, reducing stress, improving mood, and strengthening resilience. When we take even a moment to acknowledge micro-joys—such as a kind word, a shared laugh, a peaceful breath—we remind ourselves that hope and healing still exist within the challenges.

Gratitude doesn’t ignore the difficulties of caregiving; it transforms how we carry them. When we practice noticing what’s good, we create space for peace, connection, and balance. It helps us respond to our loved ones with more patience and compassion while nurturing our own sense of purpose. Every day may not be easy, but every day offers something to be thankful for—and that gratitude becomes one of our strongest protective factors against burnout.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 20, 2025Gratitude

When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

“Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.” ~ Brené Brown

Just a few weeks ago I wrote about progress over perfection and that one of my loved ones that I provide care for was having a hard time accepting their lack of mobility. We are still encouraging micro-steps as progress and try to celebrate small wins. I think looking at progress, no matter how small, instead of perfection, pairs nicely with this week’s topic of compare and despair.

“Compare and despair” thinking often brings feelings of jealousy and envy—emotions that drain our energy and joy. We can choose a different path by practicing self-compassion and remembering that we are each unique, imperfect, and still growing—perfectly imperfect perpetual works in progress. When we stop trying to be someone else and focus on nurturing our own strengths, we give ourselves permission to bloom exactly where we are planted.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 13, 2025Compare, Compare and Despair

Is It Time to Reframe Your Story?

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or as we are conditioned to see it.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

As caregivers, our minds are constantly narrating—filling in gaps when things feel uncertain or overwhelming. Sometimes that story sounds like, “I’m not doing enough,” or “No one notices how hard I’m trying.” But when we pause and ask, “What story am I telling myself?” we give ourselves the power to step back and see the situation more clearly.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 6, 2025Managing Perceptions

OCTOBER 2025 Newsletter: Finding the Courage Within Us

“Bravery is being unafraid of something other people are afraid of. Courage is being afraid, but strong enough to do it anyway.” ― Taylor Jenkins Reid, Atmosphere

It's no secret that the world can be scary. Whether our fears stem from issues on the global and national scale or from the seemingly little troubles in our days, we all know what it feels like to be afraid. So how can we have courage in a world that is frightening? As Taylor Jenkins Reid explores in her novel Atmosphere, courage does not have to mean the absence of fear. In fact, being courageous can be directly tied to our fear.

To be courageous, we have to first recognize a situation as calling the need for courage and that means acknowledging our fears. We can accept our fears of embarrassment and imperfection while also understanding that mistakes are opportunities for growth. It's okay to feel scared to say "no" to an invitation that does not fit our values or needs while simultaneously recognizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Courage is not the absence of our fears, but being able to live with them.

3 TOOLS TO DEVELOP COURAGE:

Notice and Accept Your Thoughts and Emotions - It is natural to feel scared, stressed, and overwhelmed at times. Life is hard and unexpected situations and events occur! There is no shame in experiencing emotions. What matters is what we do with them.
Embrace Your Fears and Share with Others - Recognize which of your fears are legitimate and which are unfounded. Remember, you are NOT alone. Find your community of support. Join our group coaching here!
Own Your Power and Choose Courage - Courage is something we can learn. Take stock of your strengths and room for growth and courageously take action. You got this!

Check out our October Newsletter focused on Courage here.

Focus on a Great “Yes” by Learning to Say “No”

“No is a complete sentence.” ~ Anne Lamott

As unpaid family caregivers, we often feel pressure to explain ourselves when we set boundaries or say no. But Anne Lamott’s words remind us that “No is a complete sentence.” We don’t need to justify saying no to protect our energy or take care of our own well-being.

WHY is it SO hard to say NO? For caregivers, sometimes it’s out of fear of conflict—we worry that setting a boundary will create tension with someone else. Other times, it’s the fear of losing love—we want to be agreeable so others won’t pull away or reject us. And often, we simply don’t want to hurt or disappoint others, even if that means saying yes to something that drains or hurts us instead.

CourageKristi HornerOctober 23, 2025Just Say No, Learn to Say NO

Being a Work in Progress Is Enough

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

As unpaid family caregivers, we often feel like we should be doing more—like there’s never enough time, energy, or resources to meet every need. Theodore Roosevelt’s words remind us that our strength comes from showing up with what we do have, right where we are.

Every small act of care, every boundary we set, every moment of patience we find is enough. By focusing on what we can do, instead of what we can’t, we protect our own well-being and create sustainable caregiving that lasts.

One of the loved ones that I care for has been feeling really discouraged, disheartened, and disappointed lately. They were told by their physical therapist that they weren’t making enough progress, and therefore, the therapy would no longer be covered by their insurance. My loved one viewed that as failure, which led to anger, shame, and blame. They asked what I wanted them to do, and I said it was what THEY wanted to do; that was enough. We’re committed to showing them a different path forward, to strive for progress over perfection, focusing on small wins, like getting out of bed and into the wheelchair, even if it’s just to leave their room for a change of scenery.

CourageKristi HornerOctober 16, 2025Progress Over Perfection

Choose Strength

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

~ Viktor E. Frankl

You have a power within you—to focus on challenges not as obstacles but as opportunities—to rise, to learn, and to find resilience. Caregivers can use this power to discover strength and wisdom through adversity, leaning into the hard moments to find new ways to adapt and overcome.

Although the weight of our responsibilities may feel overwhelming in those moments, we always have a choice to either let the stress hold us back or let the challenge make us stronger. Here's an affirmation to use when faced with such a choice:

🌟 “Each challenge I face is a chance to grow stronger.

I have the courage, wisdom, and resilience to keep moving forward.” 🌟

CourageKristi HornerOctober 9, 2025Strength Amidst Adversity, Strength, Strengths

Learning From Mistakes Takes Courage

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made more mistakes than I can count over my last 15 years as a caregiver. Yet, my goal is always to grow through what I go through and learn from those mistakes to help both myself and others.

So I feel like I manifest the quote above on a daily basis. I’ve also added, “I’m doing the best I can, with what I have, in this moment.”

There’s SO much I didn’t know when I morphed from “just a sister”, “just a mother”, and “just a daughter” to unpaid family caregiver. Looking back, I definitely wasn’t managing the stress of caring for someone I loved, and I most definitely felt lost and alone. I was desperate for resources, connection, and tools to care for myself while caring for others. I still wish I had the “secret sauce” for preventing caregiver burnout. (Remember, I’m a perpetual perfectly imperfect work in progress!”)

CourageKristi HornerOctober 2, 2025Learn From Mistakes, Lifelong Learning

SEPTEMBER 2025 Newsletter: Tenacity - Finding the Strength To Persist Each Day

As caregivers, we know all too well how much life demands persistence. Whether we're trying to stay on top of all of our loved ones' appointments or managing our own stress and anxieties, we are constantly being pushed to keep going. It becomes easy to think of persistence, and therefore tenacity, as something that will bring us to a clear end point. However, tenacity, in it's simplest terms is "the determination to continue what you are doing" (Cambridge Dictionary).

Even though life is often unpredictable and at times overwhelming, tenacity can encourage us to keep doing the little and big things that get us by day-by-day. This month, we explored how we can adopt a "realistic optimist" mindset and practice healthy coping mechanisms. We have the tools within us to persist and we are not alone.

3 TOOLS TO DEVELOP TENACITY:

1) Embrace Adaptability and Flexibility - Change is a constant in life and while that may on the surface seem to contrast with tenacity, by embracing adaptability and flexibility, we can better navigate the challenges we encounter and find the creativity needed to keep moving forward.

2) Find Your Support Network - While sometimes we need independence to persist, at other times, a little help and encouragement from others may be what we need to keep going. Whether your support network is just a couple people or a large group, having others you can count on can give you the boost you need.

3) Cultivate a Positive Mindset - As we discussed this month, it's possible to be realistic and optimistic. By recognizing the negative aspects of life without becoming consumed by them, we can more accurately tackle the hurdles we face and move forward.

Check out our September newsletter focused on Tenacity here.

TenacityKristi HornerSeptember 25, 2025Persistence, Realistic Optimism, Optimism, Coping mechanisms, Coping

Use Healthy Coping Mechanisms to “Surf” Your Stress

"You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Caregiving often brings steady waves of stressors, emotional ups and downs, and unexpected changes that cannot always be controlled. But as this week’s quote implies, caregivers may not be able to eliminate these “waves,” but we can develop healthy coping mechanisms—such as mindfulness, problem-solving, and self-care—that help us “surf” through difficulties with greater balance and resilience. This mindset protects us against burnout by shifting our focus away from fighting the inevitable to skillfully navigating it.

TenacityKristi HornerSeptember 18, 2025Coping mechanisms, Coping

Make Optimism Part of Your Routine

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." — Helen Keller

For unpaid family caregivers, perhaps nothing plays a more important role than an optimistic mindset. It fuels our hope and belief that challenges can be managed, as well as our confidence, which leads us to take action and seek solutions. This combination helps prevent burnout by fostering resilience, persistence, and a sense of purpose—even during the most difficult times of caregiving.

TenacityKristi HornerSeptember 11, 2025Realistic Optimism

Practice Persistence Every Day

"Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely, and the likely inevitable." — Robert Half

Caregiving and persistence go hand in hand. As this week’s quote illustrates, the steady, determined effort of caregivers can help them overcome challenges, sustain their own well-being, and continue providing compassionate support. It highlights the power of persistence in the face of ongoing challenges.

TenacityKristi HornerSeptember 4, 2025Persistence

AUGUST 2025 Newsletter: Advocacy - Finding Strength in One Another

“When enough people come together, then change will come and we can achieve almost anything. So instead of looking for hope — start creating it.” ~ Greta Thunberg

Think of the last time you collaborated with another person. What was the task at hand? Were you working on a huge project that needed more opinions and perspectives? Or were you just looking for gentle encouragement on a simple task? Whatever form the collaboration took, ADVOCACY most likely came in handy whether you were speaking up for yourself and your ideas or championing the needs of others.

According to the Missouri Foundation for Health, advocacy is “any action that speaks in favor of, recommends, argues for a cause, supports or defends, or pleads on behalf of others.” As caregivers, we often find ourselves in advocate roles as we work to ensure our loved ones receive the care they need. In addition to advocating for our loved ones, we may also advocate for our own needs and for the needs of other caregivers.

The West Virginia University Health Science Center defines three different types of advocacy: self-advocacy, individual advocacy, and systems advocacy.

Self-advocacy relates to how we are able to communicate our own needs and defend our rights. We engage in self-advocacy when we understand our own needs, believe in ourselves, and communicate effectively with others.
Individual advocacy refers to when one or several people work together to protect the rights of another person. We become individual advocates when we nurture our support networks and speak up on behalf of our loved ones.
Systems Advocacy focuses on changing institutional policies, laws, and rules in order to protect groups of people. When we share our stories, join campaigns, and volunteer with dedicated advocacy groups, we are participating in systems advocacy.

Through advocacy, we are able to build relationships with others and be reminded of how connected we are to those around us. We do not have to go it alone. Instead, we can discover strength, community, and meaning. By finding hope and support in one another, we can heal and recover together.

Check out our entire August 2025 Newsletter focused on Advocacy here.