Hope Is a Skill
Hope Is a Skill

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” — Christopher Reeve

Overall, I am a very hope-filled person. Yet, there have been times when I haven’t always been able to find hope. I wouldn’t say I was hopeless, but I have supported loved ones who were. When providing mental and emotional support for my brother who lived with anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, as well as suicidal ideation, I believed he had given up on hope. As he gradually lost hope, I felt hope slipping away for me, too. So much that when our family created our walk team for the local suicide prevention organizations we support, we named ourselves the “Hope Seekers.”

I found my way back to hope. It was a conscious choice—a mindset—and something I have worked on for many years. I have since studied the science behind hope, and what I’ve discovered is nothing short of inspiring.

Hope isn’t just a feel-good emotion, it’s a powerful, measurable driver of well-being. Two large research efforts, including a 14-year study of 25,000 adults, found that people with high levels of hope experience better health, stronger relationships, greater resilience, and improved economic, educational, and employment outcomes. Unlike optimism, which is simply believing things will get better, hope reflects determination, agency, and the ability to take action. Hopeful individuals are less affected by negative life events, adapt more quickly, and feel a greater sense of meaning in life. Researchers emphasize that hope is a skill that can be developed at any age and may be one of the strongest predictors of long-term fulfillment, longevity, and overall quality of life.

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OutlookKristi HornerHope
NOVEMBER 2025 Newsletter - Caring with Collaboration: The Power of Working Together
NOVEMBER 2025 Newsletter - Caring with Collaboration: The Power of Working Together

“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”

- Shannon L. Adler

We can't go through life without collaboration. Whether we're listening to and acting on our loved one's needs or scheduling a meetup with friends, we are constantly collaborating with those around us. However, as caregivers, opening ourselves up to collaboration can feel particularly complicated. It's not uncommon to find ourselves feeling isolated as we wonder if our peers and coworkers can understand our journeys and as we feel pressured to take on our responsibilities alone. We may even question whether or not we have the right to tell our stories as it is our loved one's stories of living with mental illness and other chronic or serious illnesses.

At Courage to Caregivers, we make it clear that you are not alone. When we recognize and honor the strengths and wisdom of both the people around us and ourselves and become open to collaboration, we are able to work together to care for not just our loved ones but also ourselves. We are much stronger together than we are alone.

3 TOOLS FOR COLLABORATION

  1. Practice Active Listening - By listening to understand rather than to respond, we can better connect with those around us.

  2. Be Empathetic - By feeling "with" others rather than "for," we can more strongly understand where people are coming from.

  3. Ask for What You Need - By being specific about what we need from the people who want to be there for us, we can help others in supporting ourselves.

Check out the complete November 2025 Newsletter focused on Collaboration here.

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CollaborationKristi HornerManaging Perceptions, Compare, Compare and Despair, Gratitude
Coping with Grief and Loss at the Holidays
Coping with Grief and Loss at the Holidays

“During your time of grief, the very rituals of the holidays can help you survive them.” ~ Alan Wolfelt

While we covered grief and loss as our topic way back in April (you can search what I’ve shared about grief over the years on our blog here), I wanted to share that we lost our 92-year-old-Dad last week, and one of the ways I process my grief and loss is through writing and sharing my story. It also feels like a good time to share some thoughts around coping with grief and loss at the holidays - for me, and perhaps for you, too? Even if you haven’t lost someone you love physically, as caregivers we face complicated grief and ambiguous loss in our caring every day. 

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OutlookKristi HornerGrief, Loss, Hope, Holidays
Gratitude Can Help You Carry the Load
Gratitude Can Help You Carry the Load

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

~ Melody Beattie

For unpaid family caregivers, our days can be filled with both deep love and deep exhaustion. While it’s easy to focus on what’s hard or what we wish were different, cultivating an attitude of gratitude can help us protect our emotional and mental well-being.

Gratitude is a powerful tool—it shifts our focus from what’s missing to what’s meaningful, reducing stress, improving mood, and strengthening resilience. When we take even a moment to acknowledge micro-joys—such as a kind word, a shared laugh, a peaceful breath—we remind ourselves that hope and healing still exist within the challenges.

Gratitude doesn’t ignore the difficulties of caregiving; it transforms how we carry them. When we practice noticing what’s good, we create space for peace, connection, and balance. It helps us respond to our loved ones with more patience and compassion while nurturing our own sense of purpose. Every day may not be easy, but every day offers something to be thankful for—and that gratitude becomes one of our strongest protective factors against burnout. 

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CollaborationKristi HornerGratitude
When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

“Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.” ~ Brené Brown

Just a few weeks ago I wrote about progress over perfection and that one of my loved ones that I provide care for was having a hard time accepting their lack of mobility. We are still encouraging micro-steps as progress and try to celebrate small wins. I think looking at progress, no matter how small, instead of perfection, pairs nicely with this week’s topic of compare and despair.

“Compare and despair” thinking often brings feelings of jealousy and envy—emotions that drain our energy and joy. We can choose a different path by practicing self-compassion and remembering that we are each unique, imperfect, and still growing—perfectly imperfect perpetual works in progress. When we stop trying to be someone else and focus on nurturing our own strengths, we give ourselves permission to bloom exactly where we are planted.

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CollaborationKristi HornerCompare, Compare and Despair
Is It Time to Reframe Your Story?
Is It Time to Reframe Your Story?

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or as we are conditioned to see it.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

As caregivers, our minds are constantly narrating—filling in gaps when things feel uncertain or overwhelming. Sometimes that story sounds like, “I’m not doing enough,” or “No one notices how hard I’m trying.” But when we pause and ask, “What story am I telling myself?” we give ourselves the power to step back and see the situation more clearly.

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CollaborationKristi HornerManaging Perceptions
OCTOBER 2025 Newsletter: Finding the Courage Within Us
OCTOBER 2025 Newsletter: Finding the Courage Within Us

“Bravery is being unafraid of something other people are afraid of. Courage is being afraid, but strong enough to do it anyway.” ― Taylor Jenkins Reid, Atmosphere 

It's no secret that the world can be scary. Whether our fears stem from issues on the global and national scale or from the seemingly little troubles in our days, we all know what it feels like to be afraid. So how can we have courage in a world that is frightening? As Taylor Jenkins Reid explores in her novel Atmosphere, courage does not have to mean the absence of fear. In fact, being courageous can be directly tied to our fear. 

To be courageous, we have to first recognize a situation as calling the need for courage and that means acknowledging our fears. We can accept our fears of embarrassment and imperfection while also understanding that mistakes are opportunities for growth. It's okay to feel scared to say "no" to an invitation that does not fit our values or needs while simultaneously recognizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Courage is not the absence of our fears, but being able to live with them.

3 TOOLS TO DEVELOP COURAGE:

  1. Notice and Accept Your Thoughts and Emotions - It is natural to feel scared, stressed, and overwhelmed at times. Life is hard and unexpected situations and events occur! There is no shame in experiencing emotions. What matters is what we do with them.

  2. Embrace Your Fears and Share with Others - Recognize which of your fears are legitimate and which are unfounded. Remember, you are NOT alone. Find your community of support. Join our group coaching here!

  3. Own Your Power and Choose Courage - Courage is something we can learn. Take stock of your strengths and room for growth and courageously take action. You got this!

Check out our October Newsletter focused on Courage here.

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CourageKristi HornerStrength Amidst Adversity, Strength, Just Say No, Learn to Say NO, Learning From Mistakes, Learn From Mistakes, Progress Over Perfection
Focus on a Great “Yes” by Learning to Say “No”
Focus on a Great “Yes” by Learning to Say “No”

“No is a complete sentence.” ~ Anne Lamott

As unpaid family caregivers, we often feel pressure to explain ourselves when we set boundaries or say no. But Anne Lamott’s words remind us that “No is a complete sentence.” We don’t need to justify saying no to protect our energy or take care of our own well-being. 

WHY is it SO hard to say NO? For caregivers, sometimes it’s out of fear of conflict—we worry that setting a boundary will create tension with someone else. Other times, it’s the fear of losing love—we want to be agreeable so others won’t pull away or reject us. And often, we simply don’t want to hurt or disappoint others, even if that means saying yes to something that drains or hurts us instead. 

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CourageKristi HornerJust Say No, Learn to Say NO
Being a Work in Progress Is Enough
Being a Work in Progress Is Enough

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

As unpaid family caregivers, we often feel like we should be doing more—like there’s never enough time, energy, or resources to meet every need. Theodore Roosevelt’s words remind us that our strength comes from showing up with what we do have, right where we are.

Every small act of care, every boundary we set, every moment of patience we find is enough. By focusing on what we can do, instead of what we can’t, we protect our own well-being and create sustainable caregiving that lasts.

One of the loved ones that I care for has been feeling really discouraged, disheartened, and disappointed lately. They were told by their physical therapist that they weren’t making enough progress, and therefore, the therapy would no longer be covered by their insurance. My loved one viewed that as failure, which led to anger, shame, and blame. They asked what I wanted them to do, and I said it was what THEY wanted to do; that was enough. We’re committed to showing them a different path forward, to strive for progress over perfection, focusing on small wins, like getting out of bed and into the wheelchair, even if it’s just to leave their room for a change of scenery.   

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CourageKristi HornerProgress Over Perfection
Choose Strength
Choose Strength

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." 

~ Viktor E. Frankl

You have a power within you—to focus on challenges not as obstacles but as opportunities—to rise, to learn, and to find resilience. Caregivers can use this power to discover strength and wisdom through adversity, leaning into the hard moments to find new ways to adapt and overcome.

Although the weight of our responsibilities may feel overwhelming in those moments, we always have a choice to either let the stress hold us back or let the challenge make us stronger. Here's an affirmation to use when faced with such a choice:

 🌟 “Each challenge I face is a chance to grow stronger. 

I have the courage, wisdom, and resilience to keep moving forward.” 🌟

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CourageKristi HornerStrength Amidst Adversity, Strength, Strengths
Learning From Mistakes Takes Courage
Learning From Mistakes Takes Courage

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made more mistakes than I can count over my last 15 years as a caregiver. Yet, my goal is always to grow through what I go through and learn from those mistakes to help both myself and others.

So I feel like I manifest the quote above on a daily basis. I’ve also added, “I’m doing the best I can, with what I have, in this moment.”

There’s SO much I didn’t know when I morphed from “just a sister”, “just a mother”, and “just a daughter” to unpaid family caregiver. Looking back, I definitely wasn’t managing the stress of caring for someone I loved, and I most definitely felt lost and alone. I was desperate for resources, connection, and tools to care for myself while caring for others. I still wish I had the “secret sauce” for preventing caregiver burnout. (Remember, I’m a perpetual perfectly imperfect work in progress!”)

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CourageKristi HornerLearn From Mistakes, Lifelong Learning
SEPTEMBER 2025 Newsletter: Tenacity - Finding the Strength To Persist Each Day
SEPTEMBER 2025 Newsletter: Tenacity - Finding the Strength To Persist Each Day

As caregivers, we know all too well how much life demands persistence. Whether we're trying to stay on top of all of our loved ones' appointments or managing our own stress and anxieties, we are constantly being pushed to keep going. It becomes easy to think of persistence, and therefore tenacity, as something that will bring us to a clear end point. However, tenacity, in it's simplest terms is "the determination to continue what you are doing" (Cambridge Dictionary).

Even though life is often unpredictable and at times overwhelming, tenacity can encourage us to keep doing the little and big things that get us by day-by-day. This month, we explored how we can adopt a "realistic optimist" mindset and practice healthy coping mechanisms. We have the tools within us to persist and we are not alone.

3 TOOLS TO DEVELOP TENACITY:

1) Embrace Adaptability and Flexibility - Change is a constant in life and while that may on the surface seem to contrast with tenacity, by embracing adaptability and flexibility, we can better navigate the challenges we encounter and find the creativity needed to keep moving forward.

2) Find Your Support Network - While sometimes we need independence to persist, at other times, a little help and encouragement from others may be what we need to keep going. Whether your support network is just a couple people or a large group, having others you can count on can give you the boost you need.

3) Cultivate a Positive Mindset - As we discussed this month, it's possible to be realistic and optimistic. By recognizing the negative aspects of life without becoming consumed by them, we can more accurately tackle the hurdles we face and move forward.

Check out our September newsletter focused on Tenacity here.

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TenacityKristi HornerPersistence, Realistic Optimism, Optimism, Coping mechanisms, Coping
Use Healthy Coping Mechanisms to “Surf” Your Stress
Use Healthy Coping Mechanisms to “Surf” Your Stress

"You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Caregiving often brings steady waves of stressors, emotional ups and downs, and unexpected changes that cannot always be controlled. But as this week’s quote implies, caregivers may not be able to eliminate these “waves,” but we can develop healthy coping mechanisms—such as mindfulness, problem-solving, and self-care—that help us “surf” through difficulties with greater balance and resilience. This mindset protects us against burnout by shifting our focus away from fighting the inevitable to skillfully navigating it.

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TenacityKristi HornerCoping mechanisms, Coping
Make Optimism Part of Your Routine
Make Optimism Part of Your Routine

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." — Helen Keller

For unpaid family caregivers, perhaps nothing plays a more important role than an optimistic mindset. It fuels our hope and belief that challenges can be managed, as well as our confidence, which leads us to take action and seek solutions. This combination helps prevent burnout by fostering resilience, persistence, and a sense of purpose—even during the most difficult times of caregiving.

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TenacityKristi HornerRealistic Optimism
Practice Persistence Every Day
Practice Persistence Every Day

"Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely, and the likely inevitable." — Robert Half

Caregiving and persistence go hand in hand. As this week’s quote illustrates, the steady, determined effort of caregivers can help them overcome challenges, sustain their own well-being, and continue providing compassionate support. It highlights the power of persistence in the face of ongoing challenges.

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TenacityKristi HornerPersistence
AUGUST 2025 Newsletter: Advocacy - Finding Strength in One Another
AUGUST 2025 Newsletter: Advocacy - Finding Strength in One Another

“When enough people come together, then change will come and we can achieve almost anything. So instead of looking for hope — start creating it.” ~ Greta Thunberg 

Think of the last time you collaborated with another person. What was the task at hand? Were you working on a huge project that needed more opinions and perspectives? Or were you just looking for gentle encouragement on a simple task? Whatever form the collaboration took, ADVOCACY most likely came in handy whether you were speaking up for yourself and your ideas or championing the needs of others.

According to the Missouri Foundation for Health, advocacy is “any action that speaks in favor of, recommends, argues for a cause, supports or defends, or pleads on behalf of others.” As caregivers, we often find ourselves in advocate roles as we work to ensure our loved ones receive the care they need. In addition to advocating for our loved ones, we may also advocate for our own needs and for the needs of other caregivers.

The West Virginia University Health Science Center defines three different types of advocacy: self-advocacy, individual advocacy, and systems advocacy.

  • Self-advocacy relates to how we are able to communicate our own needs and defend our rights. We engage in self-advocacy when we understand our own needs, believe in ourselves, and communicate effectively with others.

  • Individual advocacy refers to when one or several people work together to protect the rights of another person. We become individual advocates when we nurture our support networks and speak up on behalf of our loved ones.

  • Systems Advocacy focuses on changing institutional policies, laws, and rules in order to protect groups of people. When we share our stories, join campaigns, and volunteer with dedicated advocacy groups, we are participating in systems advocacy.

Through advocacy, we are able to build relationships with others and be reminded of how connected we are to those around us. We do not have to go it alone. Instead, we can discover strength, community, and meaning. By finding hope and support in one another, we can heal and recover together.

Check out our entire August 2025 Newsletter focused on Advocacy here.

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AdvocacyKristi HornerCommunication, Effective Communication, Support Network, Creating Your Support Network, Managing Stress, Stress, Advocacy, Caregiving Advocacy
State Your Needs Assertively
State Your Needs Assertively

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." – George Bernard Shaw

As caregivers, we often juggle complex emotional, medical, and logistical responsibilities. At such times, clear and honest communication is essential. Unspoken assumptions can lead to frustration, burnout, and conflict, and misunderstandings can arise if we just assume that others know what we need, even if we haven’t clearly expressed those needs. By effectively communicating, we can build understanding, reduce stress, and strengthen support within our caregiving relationships.

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AdvocacyKristi HornerCommunication, Effective Communication
JULY 2025 Newsletter: Embracing Wholeness through Wellness
JULY 2025 Newsletter: Embracing Wholeness through Wellness

“But the real secret to lifelong good health is actually the opposite: Let your body take care of you.”

– Deepak Chopra

Wellness is all about our journey to become the best versions of ourselves! Through wellness, we embrace wholeness by taking a holistic view of our health. Whether it be through physical exercise, connecting with our friends and loved ones, or caring for our environment, we are taking steps toward our wellness. 

You might be saying, "Wait, but I thought Courage to Caregivers was all about cultivating a growth mindset. How can we become the best versions of ourselves if we are always learning?" And you would be right to ask that question! Wellness is not a straight path forward. Often constructed as possessing at least six different dimensions (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and environmental), wellness encourages us to take a multi-faceted and active approach to our health and wellbeing (Global Wellness Institute). As cliché as it may sound, wellness is about the journey, not just about the end goal.

3 TOOLS FOR STARTING YOUR WELLNESS JOURNEY

  1. Slow Down and Focus - Resting is just as important--and at times even more important--than being active. By allowing ourselves time to recharge and reflect, we can more accurately see our areas of improvement and what steps we can take toward growth.

  2. Don't Forget to Move Either - This month we discussed how moving with courage means moving with love for ourselves and our bodies. By taking care of our physical health, we can feel better, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

  3. Remember to Breathe - If you've watched any of our breathing exercises, you know all about the power of the breath in shaping our physical and mental wellbeing. If you are looking for joy, try Laughter Breathing! Feeling anxious? Try Bellows Breath. Simply want to cool down? Sitali Breath may be for you.

Wellness when broken down into its various dimensions may feel overwhelming, but just keep in mind that every step you take in caring for your health and wellbeing matters. When we take care of our own bodies and minds, we learn how to care not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones and community as well. You got this!

Check out our entire July Newsletter focused on Wellness here.

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WellnessKristi HornerSleep Hygiene, Sleep, Movement, Move Your Body, Self-Discipline, Motivation, Peaceful Atmosphere at Home, Sanctuary