FEBRUARY 2024 NEWSLETTER: The Journey of Self-Discovery
FEBRUARY 2024 NEWSLETTER: The Journey of Self-Discovery

I think of self-discovery as being my most authentic true self - living my most authentic true life. AND, if you don't know what that looks like - that's OK. You're a perfectly imperfect work in progress - learning and growing every day. 

As I work to find ME again, our February curriculum topics offer the perfect 3 tools for discovering your true self. Maybe they'll help you in your journey of self-discovery, too?

  1. WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY? Feeling joy is a boost to your soul, connects you to others, and can be contagious. You are worthy of experiencing joy, from small moments to major life events. Show the world you can be joyful.  

  2. IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS. You are a unique person with many strengths, some of  which you may not have even discovered yet. Cultivate your interests and abilities because they help you to be resilient, well-rounded, interesting and an interested individual. Be confident in who you are and what you can do. It makes you different and special! 

  3. HOLD SPACE FOR SELF-COMPASSION. You are as deserving of compassion and love as those to whom you give your compassion and love. We grow and improve ourselves by making mistakes. So instead of beating yourself up, just figure out what lesson can be learned and move on. By showing yourself compassion, you increase your capacity to give compassion to others, so everyone wins!

Check out our entire February newsletter focused on SELF-DISCOVERY here!

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Kristi HornerSelf-Compassion, Strengths, What Brings You Joy?, Finding Joy, Identifying Your Strengths
Self-Compassion – A Tender Balance and a Caring Force
Self-Compassion – A Tender Balance and a Caring Force

“Self-compassion is a balance of TENDER – accepting ourselves – and FIERCE – taking action – to alleviate suffering.” – Dr. Kristin Neff 

Like so many things for caregivers, when it comes to feeling compassion for ourselves in the same way that we feel it for others, it can be hard. We become accustomed to showing compassion for loved ones and others who are struggling or suffering, but we don’t always treat ourselves the same way.

Just like everyone else, we have good days and bad days. But on those bad days when we struggle, our inner dialogue may become critical and harsh. And while we may think that we’re just being honest with ourselves and taking responsibility for poor behavior, what we’re really doing is denying ourselves the self-compassion that we deserve – the same kind of compassion that we freely show for others.

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerSelf-Compassion
A Position of Strength
A Position of Strength

“The good life is using your signature strengths every day to produce authentic happiness and abundant gratification.” – Martin Seligman

As we focus on the theme of self-discovery this month, a key element in truly knowing ourselves is to identify our strengths. This is so important for caregivers because we often fail to recognize all of the strengths that we must draw upon as we focus on helping others. As a result, we can lose sight of ourselves, including all of our unique capabilities and strengths that lie at the core of who we are.

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerStrength, Strengths, Identifying Your Strengths
The Entanglement of Joy
The Entanglement of Joy

“(Joy is) the light that emanates from us when we help each other carry our sorrows. And that notion of joy to me, it sort of suggests something of entanglement.” – Ross Gay

We’ve been talking about finding joy for a long time now because joy is a core emotion that can be so beneficial to caregivers when we need to counteract uncomfortable emotions such as sadness. So it may be surprising to find some new ideas on how to think about joy. Yet, that’s exactly what I discovered when I read the remarkable book Inciting Joy, a collection of essays by poet and author Ross Gay.

Gay focuses on the entanglement of joy. He defines joy as “the ways that we practice our entanglement. … And when I say entanglement, I mean like being fundamentally connected to one another. All of these things like gardening or pick-up basketball or skateboarding or … aspects of school at its best. … There are these sites where we get the opportunity to practice being entangled with one another.”

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerJoy, Finding Joy, What Brings You Joy?
JANUARY 2024 NEWSLETTER: Manifesting a Practice of Setting Intentions
JANUARY 2024 NEWSLETTER: Manifesting a Practice of Setting Intentions

January is often a time of reflection, and a new year offers new beginnings. Throughout January we have been focused on our theme of SETTING INTENTIONS. An intention is a personal commitment from YOU to YOU - how do you want to BE/become? Setting intentions requires a great deal of self-awareness. We started with mapping your journey, then explored expectations and open-mindedness, and rounded out with moving from survival to thrival.

Here are 5 tools for setting intentions in 2024:

  1. Start with mindfulness and come as you ARE. With a focus on inner peace, notice and connect with the most authentic version of yourself - with intention. 

  2. Next, what's most important to you - what are your core values? And leverage your strengths! 

  3. Then, remember, YOU are the designer of your own life. Who do you want to BE/become? What do you want more of? 

  4. Cultivate the power of intentional thinking - your mindset matters - how will you show up in 2024 for YOU? 

  5. Practice self-compassion as you plan for obstacles - be gentle with yourself - I have confidence you're doing the best you can in this moment with what you have. Focus on progress, not perfection.

Check out our entire January newsletter focused on SETTING INTENTIONS here!

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerMapping Your Journey, Managing Expectations, Thrival, thri, Open-Mindedness
“I Managed to Thrive Today”
“I Managed to Thrive Today”

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” ~ Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Let’s face it, living in survival mode is the most natural thing in the world. How many times have you ended the day saying, “I managed to survive another day”? Sometimes, that’s the best we can hope for.

But when it comes to our ongoing growth and development, mere survival doesn’t mean we’re making progress. Although striving to survive is natural and necessary, we need to find ways to move beyond survival mode and do what we need to thrive. This involves understanding our emotions and directing our responses more toward self-compassion, self-health, and self-growth.

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerSurvival to Thrival
What Are the Possibilities?
What Are the Possibilities?

“Having an open mindset means being objective when you approach new things, listening to other points of view, and being willing to admit what you don’t know.” – Verywell Mind

As we work on setting intentions throughout January, practicing open-mindedness is a good place to start. By expanding our knowledge and testing our beliefs, being open-minded can help us set practical and worthwhile intentions to further our self-growth. Learning about other people and considering other viewpoints can help us refine our worldview. And fostering our curiosity can open up all kinds of new possibilities for growth.

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Kristi Horner
To Achieve Your Goals, First Examine Your Expectations
To Achieve Your Goals, First Examine Your Expectations

In our conversations with caregivers, expectations come up all the time. Most of them have something to do with our loved ones, and many can be classified as “stealth expectations,” which we may not even realize that we have, even though they do exist. Such expectations can be harmful – to ourselves, our growth, and those around us – so this week, we’re discussing how to manage expectations.

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Spiritual Wellness, Setting IntentionsKristi HornerManaging Expectations
Creating a Personal Guide Map
Creating a Personal Guide Map

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” – Brené Brown

The beginning of a new year is a great time to celebrate for a couple of reasons. First, we can look back at the prior year and reflect on all the things we achieved and how much progress we made along our journey. Even though we may have faced challenges along the way, my guess is that there are many things – big or small – that you can point to that helped you grow throughout the year.

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerMapping Your Journey
DECEMBER 2023 NEWSLETTER: Looking Inward to Look Outward
DECEMBER 2023 NEWSLETTER: Looking Inward to Look Outward

“The person who looks outward dreams, the person who looks inward awakens.” ~ Carl Jung

We often think of our OUTLOOK on life as looking outward or looking at our prospects for the future. What if instead we started by looking WITHIN ourselves? With mindfulness, YOU can cultivate the outlook YOU desire. 

Throughout December we looked at the theme of outlook through the lens of 1) having a hope-centered mindset; 2) cultivating inner peace; and 3) embracing possibility thinking.

Your outlook is connected to your resilience. You CAN grow your hope and develop a more positive outlook - you can CHOOSE the mindset you're going to use. Having a growth mindset reminds us that anything is possible ... and that's filled with SO many possibilities!

Your outlook is likely ever-changing or evolving. If you've always wondered if you are an optimist, pessimist, realist or opportunist, here's a link to a fun (quick) quiz that might give you some insight into your outlook!

Check out our entire December newsletter focused on OUTLOOK here!

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Kristi HornerOutlook, Opportunity, Possibility, Inner Calm, Inner Peace, Hope
Possibilities to Pursue, and Opportunities to Succeed
Possibilities to Pursue, and Opportunities to Succeed

“Turn your obstacles into opportunities and your problems into possibilities.”

– Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Last week, we talked about how we all have a choice in the way we respond to stress – we can either let it get the best of us, or we can have the courage to tackle it head on with our best coping strategies. This week’s topic, opportunity and possibility, also relates to the choices we make. As the quote above implies, our choices and our positive mindset can determine whether something is an obstacle or an opportunity, a problem or a possibility.

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OutlookKristi HornerOpportunity, Possibility
NOVEMBER 2023 Newsletter: Collaboration ... We are better TOGETHER
NOVEMBER 2023 Newsletter: Collaboration ... We are better TOGETHER

"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued - when they can give and receive without judgment." ~ Brené Brown 

As human beings we are hard-wired for collaboration. Our brains have a need to connect with others in order to thrive. Throughout November we focused on learning to say no, managing perceptions, compare and despair, as well as forgiveness and gratitude all as ways to collaborate. 

As caregivers, we often feel isolated and alone in our caregiving. The journey as a mental illness caregiver is especially lonely, as we feel it isn’t OUR story to tell - it’s our loved one’s story of living with mental illness (or other chronic or serious illness). 

As caregivers, we often feel judged or shamed for our actions (or lack of actions) - and this makes it hard to connect with those we feel "don't understand" or in relationships where we don't feel safe sharing – or being vulnerable – as our most authentic true selves.

Courage to Caregivers brings together caregivers and has created a community of CARE. A place where you’ll never feel alone in your caregiving again. Where you are accepted for who you are (and that's SO much MORE than "just" your caregiving responsibilities). 

We are here to support you - as a caregiver - as YOU - in your personal growth journey towards greater health and well-being. 💙 When you take care of yourself (too), you provide better care to those you love. 

As caregivers - we can support each other. Remember, you are never alone. We are here for you in your journey of caring. We're SO serious about this - that during the Holidays we've added daily weekday availability to "Meet Up" via Zoom. See article below for all the details! 

5 TOOLS TO CONNECT WITH COURAGE

  1. BE PRESENT: Turn off your notifications and devices; take a break from your to-do lists.

  2. ACTIVE LISTENING: Notice your body language - listen to understand (not to respond).

  3. BE VULNERABLE: Be your authentic true self.

  4. BE EMPATHETIC: Empathy is NOT sympathy. Empathy is feeling "with" another person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. 

  5. ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED: Be specific - people want to support you! ​​​​​​​​Keep a list handy so you're always ready for "how can I help you?"

Check out our entire November newsletter focused on COLLABORATION here.

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CollaborationKristi HornerCollaboration, Learn to Say NO, Managing Perceptions, Compare and Despair, Forgiveness, Gratitude
Gratitude Is Recognition; Forgiveness Is Release
Gratitude Is Recognition; Forgiveness Is Release

"Forgiveness is a form of gratitude. When we forgive others, we show them the mercy that we have often received and been thankful for." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

In keeping with the season, our topic this week is forgiveness and gratitude – both of which enable us to gain more control and empowerment in our lives. Forgiveness allows us to let go of our resentments and move on with our lives. Gratitude allows us to recognize all the good things that happen every day.

When we practice gratitude as a mindset, it doesn’t mean that we ignore the bad things. It means that we can also focus on all the good things, big or small, like our relationship with our loved one, our bond with our pet, or just a simple pleasure like a hot cup of coffee. We realize that life is not all terrible, that we do have a lot to be thankful for, and that there is hope.  

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CollaborationKristi HornerForgiveness, Gratitude
Focus on the “Best of” You
Focus on the “Best of” You

"Comparison is the thief of JOY." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

It’s not often that our topic for the week is all about an unhealthy thinking style. But the inclination to compare and despair is so common and seemingly natural for us that we need to recognize it for exactly what it is: a type of distorted thinking that can lead to depression, anxiety, shame, jealousy, self-criticism, low self-esteem, and lack of self-confidence. So it’s definitely something we need to address whenever we find ourselves falling into its trap.

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CollaborationKristi HornerCompare and Despair
How Do You Perceive Your Perceptions?
How Do You Perceive Your Perceptions?

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

Let’s face it, the way we look at the world can often determine the way we form our opinions, our values, and even who we are. That’s why managing our perceptions is so crucial to self-growth. In many challenging situations, our perceptions are all we have to guide us.

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CollaborationKristi HornerManaging Perceptions
You Have the Right to Say “No”
You Have the Right to Say “No”

“Saying NO can be the ultimate self-care.” ~ Claudia Black

This week’s topic involves one of the most courageous actions you can take: saying no.

Caregivers often get pulled in many different directions, and we may discover that some things just aren’t “right” for us to take on at this point in our lives. In those cases, we need to learn to say no. Saying no helps us establish and enforce healthy boundaries on our time, energy, and space, to ensure that we can put our best selves forward for those who need us, and for ourselves. Failure to hold firm to these boundaries can leave us feeling overburdened and overcommitted.

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CollaborationKristi HornerLearn to Say NO
OCTOBER 2023 Newsletter: Cultivating COURAGE with Compassion
OCTOBER 2023 Newsletter: Cultivating COURAGE with Compassion

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes the courage is the quiet at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

You may have wondered why we chose COURAGE to be a part of our nonprofit's name. For me, courage is something that is essential in a caregiver’s tool box, and it often feels ‘depleted.’ Courage to Caregivers aims to support caregivers by empowering them to channel their ‘inner’ courage - whether it’s a little or a lot. And, yes, it doesn’t always roar!

Brené Brown says it best in her book The Gifts of Imperfection: "The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’

“Over time, this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics is important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today’s world that’s pretty extraordinary.”

We show ordinary courage in those micro-moments we demonstrate every day as caregivers. It may feel like micro-courage - yet, showing up every day and being vulnerable – that’s ordinary courage. It can be HARD - it definitely takes EXTRAordinary bravery and strength.

In The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life, author Kate Swoboda shares four habits that supports us in cultivating courage - 1) accessing the body; 2) listening without attachment; 3) reframing limiting stories; and 4) reaching out and creating community.  At Courage to Caregivers we're all about creating courageous communities as we support caregivers in building their courage muscles. Courageous communities give us the support we need to face challenges ... together. Swoboda invites us to consider "where are the courage-based relationships in your life that will make up your courageous community?" Who embodies the courage qualities of vulnerability, optimism, empathy, compassion, and kindness? Find someone to practice courageous connection or join one of our group coaching sessions where you'll get lots of practice. Practice leads to creating sustainable habits that, over time, will transform your life! 

Check out our entire October newsletter focused on COURAGE here.

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CourageKristi HornerCourage, Learning From Mistakes, Learn From Mistakes, Strength Amidst Adversity, Progress Over Perfection
Push for Progress, Not Perfection
Push for Progress, Not Perfection

I’m a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress. ~ Me

Maybe it’s because I’m a lifelong learner… maybe it’s because I’m curious … maybe it’s because I embrace a growth mindset … I look at every interaction with another person as an opportunity for growth. Nothing ventured - nothing gained.

However, although I don’t consider myself a “perfectionist,” I do like things a certain way. 

This week’s topic of progress over perfection encapsulates all of this month's topics - finding strength amidst adversity and learning from mistakes.

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CourageKristi HornerProgress Over Perfection