Both/And — Blog — Courage to Caregivers

MAY 2025 Newsletter: Growth Mindset - The Power to Believe in Ourselves

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." - Maya Angelou

Failure can feel terrifying. We worry about the consequences. We struggle with managing our own and others' expectations. We stress over how our friends, family, and community may perceive us. When we have so many things to fear, it can feel easy to quit or not even try. In moments where we do fail or perceive ourselves as failing, the shame and guilt of it can hold us back further.

However, a GROWTH MINDSET reminds us of the possibility of learning and growing from our failures. Messing up does not have to be the end. We can make lessons out of our mistakes and find the strength to continue. With a growth mindset, perfection is not the goal. Fostering our belief in ourselves and our ability to learn is the objective.

3 TOOLS TO FOSTER A GROWTH MINDSET

Believe inYourself - You can't start learning if you don't believe in your capability to change and grow. How do you talk to yourself in your mind? Trade demeaning self-talk for self-compassionate words.
Making Mistakes Is Part of the Process - It's hard to learn if you are not willing to make the mistakes that teach you how you can grow. Mistakes can be lessons and they do not have to define you.
Be a Life-Long Learner - What piques your curiosity? Even everyday things like wondering how you can change your morning routine can lead to self-growth. Take the time to find what you are passionate about and learn!

Check out the entire May 2025 Newsletter here.

Finding Meaning in the Gray Areas

"Finding comfort in discomfort is essential - it opens up the possibility of Both/And leading to more creative, generative solutions." ~ Wendy Smith, Both/And Thinking

As a caregiver, you know all too well that daily life is often filled with complex, painful emotions: exhaustion, love, resentment, guilt, pride—sometimes all at once. It’s natural to want to fight these emotions or to shut down to keep yourself from feeling them. But if you have the courage to accept the discomfort, you can open yourself up to the benefits of Both/And thinking—the ability to acknowledge multiple truths at once.

A Grain of Truth Is Easy to Miss

“ ‘Yes, and’ reminds us that there are multiple truths and that we, therefore, do not have to simply reject someone when they challenge our assumptions.”

– Toby Sinclair recap from “Both/And Thinking” by Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis

As we continue to explore this month’s theme of how to develop a growth mindset, we’re finding that some ways of thinking can be beneficial to our progress while other ways of thinking can hold us back. Last week, we discussed how curiosity can help us grow by opening our minds to new ideas and opening ourselves to new connections. This week’s topic is the opposite of curiosity – thinking in extremes can close our minds to the truths that others might see from their perspective, thus inhibiting our growth.

Life Is Not a True/False Test

How often do you find yourself thinking in extremes? … I’m either a success or a failure … I’m either right or wrong … You’re either with me or against me.

When we find ourselves thinking in terms of true or false, good or bad, my way or the highway, we fail to recognize that the world is complex, diverse, and filled with shades of gray. Instead, we experience cognitive distortions that inhibit our growth mindset. We use words like “always,” “never,” “impossible,” or “perfect” when we evaluate ourselves and others. We become stuck in our own thinking and limited in our relationships. And we have little chance to learn from our mistakes.

Spend More Time in the Middle

Our theme this month is all about having a growth mindset, which is a powerful force for self-improvement.