MAY 2026 Newsletter - Growth Mindset: Growing with Every Step We Take

When was the last time you tried something new? Were you scared? Were you excited? What pushed you to take that step forward? Taking that first step forward can be terrifying. We worry about what will happen if we mess up. We agonize over the impacts our actions can have on our loved ones. Sometimes it can feel safer staying to what we know rather than risking the chance of failing and having to face our guilt and shame.

A GROWTH MINDSET reminds us that learning is not finite. There are always ways for us to grow from our mistakes and find new ways forward. Just because we messed up today does not mean that we will fail forever. We are worthy of the same love and compassion we give to others.

3 TOOLS TO FOSTER A GROWTH MINDSET:

Believe inYourself - You can't start learning if you don't believe in your capability to change and grow. How do you talk to yourself in your mind? Trade demeaning self-talk for self-compassionate words.
Making Mistakes Is Part of the Process - It's hard to learn if you are not willing to make the mistakes that teach you how you can grow. Mistakes can be lessons, and they do not have to define you.
Be a Life-Long Learner - What piques your curiosity? Even everyday things like wondering how you can change your morning routine can lead to self-growth. Take the time to find what you are passionate about, and learn!

Check out the complete May 2026 Newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here!

Getting Past the Distractions

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” — Confucius

When was the last time you started something, then someone needed something from you, and you didn’t get to finish that first “something”? This happens to me ALL the time. Honestly, part of it is that my home office doesn’t have a door. The other part is that I’m very distractible. My brain goes a million miles a minute, and I’m juggling a lot of balls.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 21, 2026Recommit Don't Quit!

Growing Around the Guilt and Shame

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ~ Brené Brown

If there’s anything I know about guilt and shame, it’s that they thrive in the darkness. Digging deep into those dark recesses is hard to do. But when you’re ready, you can bring these thoughts out into the sunshine where shame can’t live.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 14, 2026Guilt, Shame, Redefining Guilt & Shame

Avoid the Extremes and Discover New Possibilities

“Polarized thinking traps us in trade-offs, while both/and thinking helps us find more creative and sustainable ways forward.” ~ Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis, Both/And Thinking

Unpaid family caregiving rarely fits into simple either/or categories. But sometimes we can become stuck in polarized thinking — believing we must choose between caring for others or caring for ourselves, being hopeful or being realistic, feeling grateful or feeling overwhelmed — which can increase stress, guilt, and emotional exhaustion.

Remain Open, and Stay Curious

“Curiosity creates possibilities and possibilities create hope.” ~ Unknown

You know me to often write from my own lived experience in bringing a weekly topic to life, and that’s the case this week for the topic of staying curious. This is hard to share, but our 91-year-old mom has a new diagnosis of dementia. Looking back, it came on slowly, as these things often do, yet a recent infection aggravated it significantly. Adding this to my PhD in lived experience, I have a newfound appreciation for dementia caregivers.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerApril 30, 2026Curiosity, Staying Curious

MAY 2025 Newsletter: Growth Mindset - The Power to Believe in Ourselves

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." - Maya Angelou

Failure can feel terrifying. We worry about the consequences. We struggle with managing our own and others' expectations. We stress over how our friends, family, and community may perceive us. When we have so many things to fear, it can feel easy to quit or not even try. In moments where we do fail or perceive ourselves as failing, the shame and guilt of it can hold us back further.

However, a GROWTH MINDSET reminds us of the possibility of learning and growing from our failures. Messing up does not have to be the end. We can make lessons out of our mistakes and find the strength to continue. With a growth mindset, perfection is not the goal. Fostering our belief in ourselves and our ability to learn is the objective.

3 TOOLS TO FOSTER A GROWTH MINDSET

Believe inYourself - You can't start learning if you don't believe in your capability to change and grow. How do you talk to yourself in your mind? Trade demeaning self-talk for self-compassionate words.
Making Mistakes Is Part of the Process - It's hard to learn if you are not willing to make the mistakes that teach you how you can grow. Mistakes can be lessons and they do not have to define you.
Be a Life-Long Learner - What piques your curiosity? Even everyday things like wondering how you can change your morning routine can lead to self-growth. Take the time to find what you are passionate about and learn!

Check out the entire May 2025 Newsletter here.

Recommit to Progress, Not Perfection

“Success is not the absence of failure; it’s the persistence through failure.” – Aisha Tyler

Life is unpredictable—especially for unpaid family caregivers. Sometimes, we have to revisit our intentions and adjust our goals realistically. This allows us to celebrate our progress (even if it's imperfect) and stay motivated through changing circumstances. It’s also a chance to reflect on what still matters to us and to move forward with renewed purpose, instead of letting the momentum fade.

Shine Your Light, and Watch Shame Subside

"The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad.’ " ~ Brené Brown

With all of the demands you have on your time and attention as a caregiver, have you ever felt as if what you do is never ENOUGH? Thoughts like that can lead to shame. Shame is internal, personal, and tied to our identity. Guilt, on the other hand, stems from actions, not identity.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 15, 2025Guilt, Shame

Finding Meaning in the Gray Areas

"Finding comfort in discomfort is essential - it opens up the possibility of Both/And leading to more creative, generative solutions." ~ Wendy Smith, Both/And Thinking

As a caregiver, you know all too well that daily life is often filled with complex, painful emotions: exhaustion, love, resentment, guilt, pride—sometimes all at once. It’s natural to want to fight these emotions or to shut down to keep yourself from feeling them. But if you have the courage to accept the discomfort, you can open yourself up to the benefits of Both/And thinking—the ability to acknowledge multiple truths at once.

What Sparks Your Curiosity?

"If knowledge is power, then curiosity is the muscle." ~ Danielle LaPorte

In a society that places so much value on certainty and expertise, it can take courage to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers. It also requires vulnerability, allowing us to be a “curious learner” (as one of my SHEros Brené Brown describes it). While vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, it is a crucial step toward authenticity, growth, and self-discovery.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 1, 2025Staying Curious

MAY 2024 NEWSLETTER: Who are you BECOMING? Growth Mindset at it's BEST! 🌱

Carol Dweck, Ph.D, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, coined the terms fixed and growth mindset to describe beliefs around learning and intelligence.

Having a growth mindset allows you to BELIEVE in yourself and see yourself as growing. A growth mindset is our belief that we have the power to develop our talents and build our abilities. We can improve ourselves, develop new skills, embrace challenges, overcome setbacks, and reach our potential. Nothing but opportunity and possibility!

"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don't belong." ~ Unknown

Having a GROWTH MINDSET is truly the POWER of YET 🌱

When you learn the power of YET, you will forever and always change your language. When you begin to use this one small word - YET - it can make a profound difference. As caregivers, we often hear some of the following ... consider adding YET!

I can't do this ... YET

This doesn't work ... YET

I don't know ... YET

It doesn't make sense ... YET

I don't get it ... YET

I'm not good at this ... YET

Believe in yourself and ANYTHING is possible. BELIEVE ... that you CAN ... that you're WORTHY ... that you are ENOUGH. Believe in yourself and you're halfway there! When negative self-talk and self-doubt creep in, remember the word IMPOSSIBLE says it all ... I'M POSSIBLE.

Check out our entire May Newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here.

Is It Time to Recommit?

“Don’t give up on the person you’re becoming.” – Unknown

Back in January, I set an intention to “find ME again” in 2024. This was the result of a rough end of 2023 for me as a caregiver. I was exhausted, and I longed for a version of myself that felt better, like my “old” self.

Well, almost five months have passed, and I’ve discovered that maybe this intention was not realistic. My caregiving has changed me in many ways, some positive and some negative. I continually find myself tested, but these tests offer opportunities for growth – growing in patience, setting boundaries, active listening, and having hard conversations.

Perhaps a more realistic intention for 2024 is to “find who I am BECOMING.” How can I take what I’ve learned to be the best version of the NEW me? That’s something I can recommit to – which brings us to this week’s topic: recommit, don’t quit.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 23, 2024Recommit Don't Quit!

Don’t Let Your Inner Critic Shame You

“Empathy is the antidote to shame.” – Brené Brown

This week’s topic deals with two of the most complicated feelings we have, and the way we deal with those feelings can have a great impact on our sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-growth. We’re talking about guilt and shame.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 16, 2024Guilt, Shame, Redefining Guilt & Shame

A Grain of Truth Is Easy to Miss

“ ‘Yes, and’ reminds us that there are multiple truths and that we, therefore, do not have to simply reject someone when they challenge our assumptions.”

– Toby Sinclair recap from “Both/And Thinking” by Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis

As we continue to explore this month’s theme of how to develop a growth mindset, we’re finding that some ways of thinking can be beneficial to our progress while other ways of thinking can hold us back. Last week, we discussed how curiosity can help us grow by opening our minds to new ideas and opening ourselves to new connections. This week’s topic is the opposite of curiosity – thinking in extremes can close our minds to the truths that others might see from their perspective, thus inhibiting our growth.

Connecting Through Curiosity

“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.” – Albert Einstein

Our theme for this month is growth mindset, and one of the most effective ways of ensuring that our minds remain focused on growth is by staying curious. When we stay curious, we grow by exploring those parts of ourselves and our world that we might be unfamiliar with. By asking the basic questions of who, what, where, when, why, and how, we can gain a new understanding of ourselves and our environment. In doing so, we open up opportunities for both self-growth and making new connections with others in our world.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 2, 2024Staying Curious, Curiosity

MAY 2023 Newsletter: GROWTH MINDSET ... You Have the Power to Grow 🌱

Carol Dweck, Ph.D, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, coined the terms fixed and growth mindset to describe beliefs around learning and intelligence.

Having a growth mindset allows you to BELIEVE in yourself and see yourself as growing. A growth mindset is our belief that we have the power to develop our talents and build our abilities. We can improve ourselves, develop new skills, embrace challenges, overcome setbacks, and reach our potential. Nothing but opportunity and possibility!

"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don't belong." ~ Unknown

As caregivers, we can be hard on ourselves. For just one moment today - pause and notice. Reflect on all that you do. Show yourself some gratitude for the resilience you've show in ...

... the grief you are working through
... the heartbreak you are journeying with
... the pain that has strengthened you

Look at how far you have come. Remember - you have overcome 100% of your hardest days so far. You are still growing! 🌱

Check out our entire May newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here.

The Opposite of Shame

This week, we’re talking about two feelings that can be hard to understand, recognize, and respond to, even though they are common to all of us. The words “guilt” and “shame” are often used interchangeably, but they are very different. The fact that it is so hard for many of us to distinguish between the two and focus on them openly led us to think about them in a different way, which is why we chose redefining guilt and shame as this week’s topic.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 17, 2023Guilt, Shame, Redefining Guilt & Shame

Life Is Not a True/False Test

How often do you find yourself thinking in extremes? … I’m either a success or a failure … I’m either right or wrong … You’re either with me or against me.

When we find ourselves thinking in terms of true or false, good or bad, my way or the highway, we fail to recognize that the world is complex, diverse, and filled with shades of gray. Instead, we experience cognitive distortions that inhibit our growth mindset. We use words like “always,” “never,” “impossible,” or “perfect” when we evaluate ourselves and others. We become stuck in our own thinking and limited in our relationships. And we have little chance to learn from our mistakes.

Grow Through Healthy Curiosity

We have lots to talk about this month, as our theme will focus on having a growth mindset, and this week’s topic is staying curious. Growth occurs in many ways, and one of the most important sources of growth is curiosity. By asking the basic questions of who, what, where, when, why, and how, we learn new things about our world and ourselves.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 4, 2023Curiosity, Staying Curious

May Newsletter: GROWTH MINDSET ... it's truly the POWER of YET 🌱

Having a fixed mindset is telling yourself that you (and your loved one) can't change.

Having a growth mindset is reminding yourself that you are a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress and that anything is possible.

It's NEVER too late to cultivate a growth mindset - your brain is like a rubber band and science tells us that you can learn new things. It starts with believing.

You don't get really good at something - anything - without practice. Your brain is a muscle - give your growth mindset a good workout today!

Check out the May Newsletter focused on GROWTH MINDSET here.