Blog — Courage to Caregivers

Slow Down … Be Present

“When you are present, when your attention is fully in the Now, Presence will flow into and transform what you do. There will be a quality and power in it.” – Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

No matter what we have going on in our lives, there are times when we need to slow down, be present, and be mindful. Mindfulness is the ability to focus on the present moment while calmly recognizing and accepting our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Being mindful frees us from being stuck in the past or trying to control the future. It allows us to be aware of where we are and what we’re doing while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is happening around us.

For caregivers, mindfulness means learning to live in the moment, accepting the reality of our situation, and filtering out distractions.

MindfulnessKristi HornerMarch 9, 2023Mindfulness, Being Present, Living Mindfully

The Wave of Emotions

One of our favorite visualization techniques is to think of emotions like waves in the ocean. They’re always coming and going … they’re neither good nor bad … and they don’t last long. Some emotions may make us feel uncomfortable, but if we view them like waves, it can be easier to let go of them. Watch them go away like the waves going back out to sea.

Inhale … exhale … let go.

Now you have freed up space in your mind and heart that you can fill with positive and helpful feelings such as happiness, contentment, hope, and excitement.

That little exercise is one way of regulating emotions.

MindfulnessKristi HornerMarch 2, 2023Emotions, Emotional Self-Control, Regulating Emotions

February Newsletter: Finding Yourself Again ... The Journey of Self-Discovery

During my hardest caregiving days, I felt as if I had lost myself - who I was at my very core. I lost sight of myself. It's as if I hit "pause" on my play button - in order to care for others so they could move "forward". In the meantime, during that pause, I was lost.

It took me a LONG time to notice and ultimately figure out why I was struggling. I had to find peace with focusing on ME again. I had to remind myself that taking care of me, too, is NOT selfish. It allows me to reclaim WHO I am, WHAT I'm doing and WHY it matters.

Throughout February as we explored our theme of Self-Discovery we dug deep to find more joy, identified our strengths and opportunities for growth, and worked hard on our self-compassion.

Self-discovery is the journey of finding your true self. It is a fundamental component of your journey of personal growth. It leads to greater self-awareness and helps you understand and regulate your emotions.

Self-discovery is a journey. Think of yourself as a perpetual perfectly imperfect work in progress.

It's about exploring your passions, examining your life, and taking steps towards personal fulfillment.

Check out our entire February newsletter focused on Self-Discovery here.

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 23, 2023Self-Compassion, Finding Joy, joy, Micro-Joy, Identifying Your Strengths

Treat Yourself as You Would Treat a Loved One

Tuesday was Valentine’s Day, and did you ever think of giving yourself a Valentine’s gift? How about some self-compassion?

Self-compassion is a perfect gift to give yourself … any day of the year. It’s a component of self-love, where we recognize our own worth and extend kindness to ourselves just like we would for others.

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 16, 2023Self-Compassion, Self-Love

Strengths, Trust, and Confidence

Our strengths are a big part of our character. They can develop from the way we were raised, the way we respond to challenges, the values we hold dear, and the things that interest us the most. They represent the areas where we excel, and they are building blocks for our self-esteem.

Your strengths are a big part of what makes you special. Be confident in who YOU are and what your strengths can help YOU do!

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 9, 2023Self-Confidence, Strengths, Identifying Your Strengths

What If … We Could Stop Focusing on the “What-Ifs”?

Our topic for this week, finding joy, can be a tricky subject for caregivers. With all the emotions and challenges that we experience as part of our role as caregivers, finding joy for ourselves can be complicated. As we focus on the needs of others, we might put off our need to find joy for ourselves, and we might even feel guilty when we do allow ourselves to feel joy.

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 1, 2023Finding Joy, Joy, Micro-Joy

January Newsletter: Setting Intentions - Make it a practice in 2023!

Throughout January we have been focused on the theme of SETTING INTENTIONS. An intention is a personal commitment to YOU - how do you want to BE/what do you want to BECOME?

Setting intentions requires a great deal of self-awareness. We explored mapping your journey as a caregiver - managing expectations (of ourselves and others) - and open-mindedness.

"Self-awareness is important when setting intentions. It’s the ability to possess the knowledge, understanding, and recognition of who you are. Knowing yourself means being mindful of your disposition, character, motives, strengths, weaknesses, passions, and desires. Self-awareness allows us to identify what makes us unique in terms of our thoughts and actions. Having all this information can be empowering; you are more likely to be introspective and ready to decide on your intentions when you know yourself, which is an important element of healing and transformation." ~ Diana Raab

What if setting intentions feels HARD? Maybe you're worried about not living into your intention? Or perhaps you're concerned about facing your fears or are feeling discouraged or even disappointed?

We all get off track sometimes. Practice self-compassion - be gentle with yourself. You've done hard things before - you can do it again! Take a pause - consider where you went off course - and commit to trying again tomorrow. Recommit in a kinder and gentler way.

Today, I will be more present.

This month, I will practice patience.

This year, I will celebrate my progress.

Remember - it's not about perfection - it's about PROGRESS.

I am a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress.

Check out our entire January Newsletter focused on Setting Intentions here.

Open Mind … Open Heart

“Until the mind is open, the heart stays closed. The open mind is the key to the open heart.” – Byron Katie

This week, we’re talking about open-mindedness, and how we can grow and improve as people by simply being willing to consider information that challenges our existing thought processes. When we open our minds to the fact that there are beliefs and viewpoints that are different from ours, we may also discover that those beliefs and viewpoints could be an improvement over the ones we currently hold. When that happens, we grow.

Setting IntentionsKristi HornerJanuary 18, 2023Open-Mindedness

Expectations Don’t Bring Worthiness

This week’s topic is a new one for us, but it plays a hugely important role in our attitude toward ourselves, our relationships, and our place in the world, even if we may not realize it. Have you ever thought about how you respond to expectations? As we’ve heard from many of our participants, caregivers often get wrapped up in the expectations that they have of themselves, that they have of others, and that others have of them. This week, we’re discussing how to manage those expectations.

Setting IntentionsKristi HornerJanuary 12, 2023Managing Expectations

The Next Stage of Your Journey

At the start of a new year, we all tend to both reflect on the prior year and look forward to the coming year. My guess is you’ve grown in many wonderful ways since the beginning of 2022, and that’s worthy of celebrating! But perhaps you also feel stagnant or stuck in some ways, and those would be good things to work on in 2023. And we hope this month’s theme of setting intentions and this week’s topic of mapping your journey will help you continue your process of self-growth and dreaming BIG.

December Newsletter: Your outlook on life starts by looking within!

"It's about your outlook towards life. You can regret or rejoice." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We often think of our OUTLOOK on life as looking outward or looking at our prospects for the future. What if instead we started by looking WITHIN ourselves? With mindfulness, YOU can cultivate the outlook YOU desire.

Throughout December we looked at the theme of outlook through the lens of 1) having a hope-centered mindset; 2) opportunity and possibility; and 3) celebrating your successes.

Your outlook is connected to your resilience. You CAN grow your hope and develop a more positive outlook - you can CHOOSE the mindset you're going to use. Having a growth mindset reminds us that anything is possible ... and that's worth celebrating!

Your outlook is likely ever changing or evolving. If you've always wondered - are you an optimist, pessimist, realist or opportunist, here's a link to a fun (quick) quiz that might give you some insight into your outlook!

Check out the entire December newsletter focused on our theme of Outlook here.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 28, 2022Hope, Opportunity, Possibility, Celebrate Success

Celebrating Our Material and Non-Material Successes

This week’s topic involves a subject that is different for everyone. We all have our own ideas of what success looks like -- whether it’s material possessions, professional accolades, or financial security – or non-material things such as accomplishing daily tasks while struggling emotionally, courageously trying new things in spite of anxiety, resisting temptation while battling addiction, or mastering a new skill. Whatever success is for you, we’re celebrating that success.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 21, 2022Celebrate Success

Providing an Open Environment to Reimagine the Possibilities

When thinking about this week’s subject, opportunity and possibility, I was reminded of something we recently experienced at Courage to Caregivers. It involved reframing, pivoting, and reimagining our possibilities to turn them into a new opportunity to support unpaid family caregivers to prevent burnout.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 14, 2022Opportunity, Possibility

“You Can Get There from Here”

Hope helps us create a vision for the future and motivates us to take action on things we can control. In other words, as stated by Rick Snyder, the developer of Hope Theory, “Hope means … you can get there from here.”

You can be a hope model, too, for others and for YOU.

OutlookKristi HornerDecember 8, 2022Hope

November Newsletter: Collaboration ... We are Better TOGETHER

"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued - when they can give and receive without judgment." ~ Brené Brown

As caregivers, we often feel isolated and alone in our caregiving.

The journey as a mental illness caregiver is especially lonely, as we feel it isn’t OUR story to tell - it’s our loved one’s story of living with mental illness (or other serious illness).

As caregivers, we often feel judged or shamed for our actions (or lack of actions) - and this makes it hard to connect with those we feel "don't understand" or in relationships where we don't feel safe sharing – or being vulnerable – as our most authentic true selves.

Courage to Caregivers brings together caregivers and has created a community of CARE. A place where you’ll never feel alone in your caregiving again. Where you are accepted for who you are (and that's SO much MORE than "just" your caregiving responsibilities).

We are here to support you - as a caregiver - as YOU - in your personal growth journey towards greater health and well-being. 💙 When you take care of yourself (too), you provide better care to those you love.

Check out the November newsletter here focus on our theme of Collaboration here.

Micro-Moments of Gratitude

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” – Alice Morse Earle

‘Tis the season for thanks and giving, and Thanksgiving is the perfect time to be with family and friends and focus on our blessings. But being thankful and expressing our gratitude isn’t meant to be “seasonal.” Having an attitude of gratitude is beneficial all year ‘round.

Practicing gratitude has been proven to reduce stress, protect you from depression, help you sleep better, boost your immune system, and improve your relationships. And the Science of Thankfulness shows that by cultivating gratitude as a practice, we can rewire our brains for resilience and optimism.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 22, 2022Forgiveness, Gratitude

Learning to Share and Not Compare

It's that time of year ... again. The hustle and bustle of the Holidays. We cram a lot into the last few weeks of every year, don't we?

Building resilience is no fun. It's hard and complicated. It has growing pains and is oftentimes filled with mistakes and wrong turns. Life is not always sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns - I know that, yet, I don't have to like it. We don't get to feel joy, happiness, contentment, pride, and peace without also feeling sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, and disappointment. We're human - and come with the full spectrum of emotions. These are normal reactions to (mostly) normal situations.

I haven't written a long newsy Christmas letter for many, many years. Maybe this will be the year I find the courage to start again? Maybe someone out there needs to know that in their story of pain and heartache ... they're not alone. Or another caregiver out there needs to know that caregiving is hard, and long, and you can get weary ... and, they are enough.

Today I will remind myself that I am enough. YOU are enough, too.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 17, 2022Compare and Despair

“You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know”

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we must admit that there are a lot of things we don’t know. Our perceptions are limited by many things, including our experiences, values, culture, personality, family, social skills, and relationships. But despite these limitations, our perceptions are all we have to inform our world view and the way we interact with others.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 10, 2022Managing Perceptions

Support Is a Two-Way Street

We actually have two themes this month. First, it’s National Family Caregivers Month, which celebrates, supports, and raises awareness about family caregivers across the country. So this month, we’ll be hosting our third annual Caring for Caregivers Virtual Summit, Getting UNStuck: Moving From Languishing to Flourishing, on November 16 and 17. Both days will feature sessions by professional facilitators on topics ranging from connectedness and empowerment to resiliency and gratitude.

Also this month, our regular Support Group curriculum will be covering topics related to the theme of collaboration, and this week, the topic is your support network.

When we allow others to help us, we give them the opportunity to show their kindness and compassion. When we do the same for others as part of a support network, we return the favor. In other words, having a strong support network is a win-win for YOU and for EVERYONE!

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 3, 2022Support Team

October Newsletter: What's in YOUR Courage Tool Kit?

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes the courage is the quiet at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

You may have wondered why we chose COURAGE to be a part of our nonprofit's name. For me, courage is something that is essential in a caregiver’s tool box, and it often feels ‘depleted.’ Courage to Caregivers aims to support caregivers by empowering them to channel their ‘inner’ courage - whether it’s a little or a lot. And, yes, it doesn’t always roar!

Brené Brown says it best in her book The Gifts of Imperfection: "The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’

“Over time, this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics is important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.

“Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today’s world that’s pretty extraordinary.”

We show ordinary courage in those micro-moments we demonstrate every day as caregivers. It may feel like micro-courage - yet, showing up every day and being vulnerable – that’s ordinary courage. It can be HARD - it definitely takes EXTRAordinary bravery and strength.

Check out the October newsletter here focus on our theme of Courage here.