MAY 2023 Newsletter: GROWTH MINDSET ... You Have the Power to Grow 🌱
MAY 2023 Newsletter: GROWTH MINDSET ... You Have the Power to Grow 🌱

Carol Dweck, Ph.D, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, coined the terms fixed and growth mindset to describe beliefs around learning and intelligence. 

Having a growth mindset allows you to BELIEVE in yourself and see yourself as growing.  A growth mindset is our belief that we have the power to develop our talents and build our abilities. We can improve ourselves, develop new skills, embrace challenges, overcome setbacks, and reach our potential. Nothing but opportunity and possibility!

"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don't belong." ~ Unknown

As caregivers, we can be hard on ourselves. For just one moment today - pause and notice. Reflect on all that you do. Show yourself some gratitude for the resilience you've show in ...

... the grief you are working through
... the heartbreak you are journeying with
... the pain that has strengthened you

Look at how far you have come. Remember - you have overcome 100% of your hardest days so far. You are still growing! 🌱

Check out our entire May newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here.

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerStaying Curious, Thinking in Extremes, Black and White Thinking, Polarized Thinking, Redefining Guilt & Shame, Guilt, Shame, Growth Mindset
The Opposite of Shame
The Opposite of Shame

This week, we’re talking about two feelings that can be hard to understand, recognize, and respond to, even though they are common to all of us. The words “guilt” and “shame” are often used interchangeably, but they are very different. The fact that it is so hard for many of us to distinguish between the two and focus on them openly led us to think about them in a different way, which is why we chose redefining guilt and shame as this week’s topic.  

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerGuilt, Shame, Redefining Guilt & Shame
Life Is Not a True/False Test
Life Is Not a True/False Test

How often do you find yourself thinking in extremes? … I’m either a success or a failure … I’m either right or wrong … You’re either with me or against me.

When we find ourselves thinking in terms of true or false, good or bad, my way or the highway, we fail to recognize that the world is complex, diverse, and filled with shades of gray. Instead, we experience cognitive distortions that inhibit our growth mindset. We use words like “always,” “never,” “impossible,” or “perfect” when we evaluate ourselves and others. We become stuck in our own thinking and limited in our relationships. And we have little chance to learn from our mistakes.

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Growth MindsetKristi HornerBoth/And, Either/Or, Black and White Thinking, Thinking in Extremes, Polarized Thinking
April Newsletter: Self-Compassion + Connectedness + Common Humanity = HOPE
April Newsletter: Self-Compassion + Connectedness + Common Humanity = HOPE

Life can be HARD - I likely don't need to remind you.

Life is filled with moments of joy AND ordinary AND pain. In my most tender moments supporting loved ones (or myself) through immense physical or emotional pain, I've shared my thoughts on how we might navigate our one and precious life. We were never promised a life of only the “good” emotions - like joy and happiness - life comes with the good AND bad - a full spectrum of experiences. 

How often do you find yourself asking "why ME?" I've been known to say this and "enough is enough" - how much pain can one person endure?

Sometimes, life feels unfair.

But as you navigate your story - your journey of life - remember, you are NEVER alone. Never alone in your joy OR your pain. 

When I founded Courage to Caregivers - it was a passion project. After losing our brother to suicide, my sisters and I knew NO ONE should take this journey - of providing care to someone they love living with mental illness - ALONE. We had felt so very alone all those years providing mental and emotional support for our brother. 

Over the years, talking with people, hearing their stories, holding their hands on their journey of pain - whether it be grief, loss of any kind, chronic pain, physical pain, emotional pain, isolation, or loneliness - it can feel hard and overwhelming.  One of the things I've learned is ... people want to know they aren't ALONE. We work to validate each caregivers' experience and affirm and normalize their feelings. 

“The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.” ~ Kristin Neff

Walking hand in hand with someone else is one of our greatest gifts to each other. Common humanity = you are NEVER alone. 

Check out our entire April newsletter focused on Common Humanity here.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerLoss, Grief, Building Bridges, Bridging Differences, Breaking Through Loneliness, Loneliness
Feeling Lonely? There Is HOPE!
Feeling Lonely? There Is HOPE!

One of the most common feelings caregivers express to us is loneliness. As caregivers, we can feel isolated from the rest of the world because of our responsibilities, our loved one’s challenges, or the cultural stigma surrounding mental health. As humans, we are hard-wired for social connections, and loneliness can affect our health and well-being. And we don’t have to BE alone to feel lonely. For these reasons, breaking through loneliness is one of the most important topics we can cover.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerBreaking Through Loneliness, Loneliness
The Right Way to Grieve Is YOUR Way
The Right Way to Grieve Is YOUR Way

This week’s topic is a universal one. Everyone experiences grief and loss. The death of a loved one may be the first thing that comes to mind, but we can also feel grief over many other situations in life, such as the end of a relationship. Caregivers often experience complicated grief – long-term, unresolved, persistent grief, ambiguous grief, loss without closure or clear understanding, or the loss we feel when a loved one is still living but not fully present.

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Common HumanityKristi HornerGrief, Loss
March Newsletter: Mindfulness - Presence is the best present 🎁
March Newsletter: Mindfulness - Presence is the best present 🎁

Mindfulness may feel "trendy" or just an "overused" term to you. Before we launched Courage to Caregivers in 2018 - it did to me, too! As I have come to understand, appreciate, and aspire to make mindfulness a practice in my daily life, mindfulness has become my #1 coping strategy for the stress of caregiving. 

I face stress as a caregiver each and every day. I support a young adult with a traumatic brain injury and aging parents (one newly minted 90-year old) - both living in our home. Using mindfulness as a coping strategy for the stress of caregiving, I am able to better regulate my emotions, sleep better (and return to sleep more effectively), notice when I'm not focused on what's IN my control, and find myself simply more present. I also love that mindfulness is rooted in COMPASSION - and we're all born with the capacity to be mindful. 

I now find myself focusing on my breath (it truly can be that simple - and our breathing meditation classes have shown me just that), using affirmations and intentions and focusing on the present. 

Mindful Magazine (our go-to for all things MINDFUL) has an excellent definition of mindfulness: "Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. Mindfulness is a quality that every human being already possesses, it’s not something you have to conjure up, you just have to learn how to access it." 

Check out our entire March newsletter focused on Mindfulness here.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerMindfulness, Living Mindfully, Regulating Emotions, Being Present, Happiness, Laughter, Survival to Thrival
It All Starts with a Smile
It All Starts with a Smile

In our support for caregivers, we focus a lot on ways to relieve stress and cope with difficult situations. One of the best stress relievers and coping mechanisms I know is humor. Though the situation may be serious, and no one is denying that it is, a good quip or a funny joke can be a stress reliever for everyone.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerHappiness, Laughter, Humor
Slow Down … Be Present
Slow Down … Be Present

“When you are present, when your attention is fully in the Now, Presence will flow into and transform what you do. There will be a quality and power in it.” – Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

No matter what we have going on in our lives, there are times when we need to slow down, be present, and be mindful. Mindfulness is the ability to focus on the present moment while calmly recognizing and accepting our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Being mindful frees us from being stuck in the past or trying to control the future. It allows us to be aware of where we are and what we’re doing while not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is happening around us.

For caregivers, mindfulness means learning to live in the moment, accepting the reality of our situation, and filtering out distractions.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerMindfulness, Being Present, Living Mindfully
The Wave of Emotions
The Wave of Emotions

One of our favorite visualization techniques is to think of emotions like waves in the ocean. They’re always coming and going … they’re neither good nor bad … and they don’t last long. Some emotions may make us feel uncomfortable, but if we view them like waves, it can be easier to let go of them. Watch them go away like the waves going back out to sea.
 
Inhale … exhale … let go.

Now you have freed up space in your mind and heart that you can fill with positive and helpful feelings such as happiness, contentment, hope, and excitement.
 
That little exercise is one way of regulating emotions.

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MindfulnessKristi HornerEmotions, Emotional Self-Control, Regulating Emotions
February Newsletter: Finding Yourself Again ... The Journey of Self-Discovery
February Newsletter: Finding Yourself Again ... The Journey of Self-Discovery

During my hardest caregiving days, I felt as if I had lost myself - who I was at my very core. I lost sight of myself. It's as if I hit "pause" on my play button - in order to care for others so they could move "forward". In the meantime, during that pause, I was lost. 

It took me a LONG time to notice and ultimately figure out why I was struggling. I had to find peace with focusing on ME again. I had to remind myself that taking care of me, too, is NOT selfish. It allows me to reclaim WHO I am, WHAT I'm doing and WHY it matters.

Throughout February as we explored our theme of Self-Discovery we dug deep to find more joy, identified our strengths and opportunities for growth, and worked hard on our self-compassion. ​​​​​​​​

Self-discovery is the journey of finding your true self. It is a fundamental component of your journey of personal growth. It leads to greater self-awareness and helps you understand and regulate your emotions.

Self-discovery is a journey. Think of yourself as a perpetual perfectly imperfect work in progress. 

It's about exploring your passions, examining your life, and taking steps towards personal fulfillment. 

Check out our entire February newsletter focused on Self-Discovery here.

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerSelf-Compassion, Finding Joy, joy, Micro-Joy, Identifying Your Strengths
Strengths, Trust, and Confidence
Strengths, Trust, and Confidence

Our strengths are a big part of our character. They can develop from the way we were raised, the way we respond to challenges, the values we hold dear, and the things that interest us the most. They represent the areas where we excel, and they are building blocks for our self-esteem.

Your strengths are a big part of what makes you special. Be confident in who YOU are and what your strengths can help YOU do!

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerSelf-Confidence, Strengths, Identifying Your Strengths
What If … We Could Stop Focusing on the “What-Ifs”?
What If … We Could Stop Focusing on the “What-Ifs”?

Our topic for this week, finding joy, can be a tricky subject for caregivers. With all the emotions and challenges that we experience as part of our role as caregivers, finding joy for ourselves can be complicated. As we focus on the needs of others, we might put off our need to find joy for ourselves, and we might even feel guilty when we do allow ourselves to feel joy.

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Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFinding Joy, Joy, Micro-Joy
January Newsletter: Setting Intentions - Make it a practice in 2023!
January Newsletter: Setting Intentions - Make it a practice in 2023!

Throughout January we have been focused on the theme of  SETTING INTENTIONS. An intention is a personal commitment to YOU - how do you want to BE/what do you want to BECOME? 

Setting intentions requires a great deal of self-awareness. We explored mapping your journey as a caregiver - managing expectations (of ourselves and others) - and open-mindedness.

"Self-awareness is important when setting intentions. It’s the ability to possess the knowledge, understanding, and recognition of who you are. Knowing yourself means being mindful of your disposition, character, motives, strengths, weaknesses, passions, and desires. Self-awareness allows us to identify what makes us unique in terms of our thoughts and actions. Having all this information can be empowering; you are more likely to be introspective and ready to decide on your intentions when you know yourself, which is an important element of healing and transformation." ~ Diana Raab

What if setting intentions feels HARD?  Maybe you're worried about not living into your intention? Or perhaps you're concerned about facing your fears or are feeling discouraged or even disappointed?

We all get off track sometimes. Practice self-compassion - be gentle with yourself.  You've done hard things before - you can do it again! Take a pause - consider where you went off course - and commit to trying again tomorrow. Recommit in a kinder and gentler way.

Today, I will be more present.

This month, I will practice patience.

This year, I will celebrate my progress. 

Remember - it's not about perfection - it's about PROGRESS. 

I am a perfectly imperfect perpetual work in progress. 

Check out our entire January Newsletter focused on Setting Intentions here.

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerMapping Your Journey, Managing Expectations, Open-Mindedness
Open Mind … Open Heart
Open Mind … Open Heart

“Until the mind is open, the heart stays closed. The open mind is the key to the open heart.” – Byron Katie

This week, we’re talking about open-mindedness, and how we can grow and improve as people by simply being willing to consider information that challenges our existing thought processes. When we open our minds to the fact that there are beliefs and viewpoints that are different from ours, we may also discover that those beliefs and viewpoints could be an improvement over the ones we currently hold. When that happens, we grow.

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerOpen-Mindedness
Expectations Don’t Bring Worthiness
Expectations Don’t Bring Worthiness

This week’s topic is a new one for us, but it plays a hugely important role in our attitude toward ourselves, our relationships, and our place in the world, even if we may not realize it. Have you ever thought about how you respond to expectations? As we’ve heard from many of our participants, caregivers often get wrapped up in the expectations that they have of themselves, that they have of others, and that others have of them. This week, we’re discussing how to manage those expectations.

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Setting IntentionsKristi HornerManaging Expectations