Blog — Courage to Caregivers

Step Back So Someone Else Can Step Forward

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” — Shannon L. Alder

Establishing healthy boundaries is important, but caregiving is rarely that simple. When someone we love is struggling, our instinct is to help. We want to ease their suffering, prevent mistakes, and make things better. Yet, by helping, we might also be enabling—unintentionally getting in the way of someone else's growth, independence, or ability to solve problems. The challenge isn't choosing between caring and setting boundaries. It's learning how to do both in a way that protects our well-being while supporting our loved one’s growth and independence.

EmpowermentKristi HornerJune 18, 2026Boundaries, Healthy Boundaries

Hold Space for Your Finite Resources, So Your Possibilities Are Infinite

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” ~ Audre Lorde

What comes to mind when we talk about “holding space” for ourselves?

For me, it starts with MAKING space. It means recognizing that my capacity is finite, and it’s important to intentionally set aside some of it to care for my own needs. At this stage of my life, I’m focusing on the basics: healthy nutrition and hydration, regular movement, and making sleep a priority. These are not luxuries—they are the foundation that helps me continue showing up for the people and causes I care about.

I think of my time, energy, and attention as finite resources. There are only so many hours in a day and only so much of me to give. Yet so much of who I am is infinite. My ability to learn, grow, adapt, cope, love, and hold hope has no fixed limit. Holding space for myself means honoring both realities—respecting the finite resources I have today while nurturing the infinite possibilities within me. When I do that, I am not taking away from others; I am strengthening my ability to continue the journey with resilience, purpose, and hope.

EmpowermentKristi HornerJune 11, 2026Holding Space For Yourself, Holding Space

All It Takes Is a Tap

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou

Sometimes, we can make the best progress by returning to what worked in the past. I’ve been facing my own challenges of caregiver burden recently and working very intentionally on managing my stress to better regulate my parasympathetic nervous system which has been working on overdrive lately. I’ve been returning to many practices I’ve used in the past to find the ones that work best and “stick”. A trusted friend and former colleague reminded me about the practice of “tapping” or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

Tapping can strengthen our protective factors such as emotional awareness, coping skills, emotional self-regulation, and hope. Tapping has been found to reduce stress and regulate our nervous system, improve our self-compassion, reduce anxiety or racing thoughts, reduce burnout and ultimately lead to building our resiliency. It can also open the mind and body to new ways of looking at creativity.

EmpowermentKristi HornerJune 4, 2026Tapping Into Creativity, Creativity

MAY 2026 Newsletter - Growth Mindset: Growing with Every Step We Take

When was the last time you tried something new? Were you scared? Were you excited? What pushed you to take that step forward? Taking that first step forward can be terrifying. We worry about what will happen if we mess up. We agonize over the impacts our actions can have on our loved ones. Sometimes it can feel safer staying to what we know rather than risking the chance of failing and having to face our guilt and shame.

A GROWTH MINDSET reminds us that learning is not finite. There are always ways for us to grow from our mistakes and find new ways forward. Just because we messed up today does not mean that we will fail forever. We are worthy of the same love and compassion we give to others.

3 TOOLS TO FOSTER A GROWTH MINDSET:

Believe inYourself - You can't start learning if you don't believe in your capability to change and grow. How do you talk to yourself in your mind? Trade demeaning self-talk for self-compassionate words.
Making Mistakes Is Part of the Process - It's hard to learn if you are not willing to make the mistakes that teach you how you can grow. Mistakes can be lessons, and they do not have to define you.
Be a Life-Long Learner - What piques your curiosity? Even everyday things like wondering how you can change your morning routine can lead to self-growth. Take the time to find what you are passionate about, and learn!

Check out the complete May 2026 Newsletter focused on Growth Mindset here!

Getting Past the Distractions

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” — Confucius

When was the last time you started something, then someone needed something from you, and you didn’t get to finish that first “something”? This happens to me ALL the time. Honestly, part of it is that my home office doesn’t have a door. The other part is that I’m very distractible. My brain goes a million miles a minute, and I’m juggling a lot of balls.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 21, 2026Recommit Don't Quit!

Growing Around the Guilt and Shame

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ~ Brené Brown

If there’s anything I know about guilt and shame, it’s that they thrive in the darkness. Digging deep into those dark recesses is hard to do. But when you’re ready, you can bring these thoughts out into the sunshine where shame can’t live.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerMay 14, 2026Guilt, Shame, Redefining Guilt & Shame

Avoid the Extremes and Discover New Possibilities

“Polarized thinking traps us in trade-offs, while both/and thinking helps us find more creative and sustainable ways forward.” ~ Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis, Both/And Thinking

Unpaid family caregiving rarely fits into simple either/or categories. But sometimes we can become stuck in polarized thinking — believing we must choose between caring for others or caring for ourselves, being hopeful or being realistic, feeling grateful or feeling overwhelmed — which can increase stress, guilt, and emotional exhaustion.

Remain Open, and Stay Curious

“Curiosity creates possibilities and possibilities create hope.” ~ Unknown

You know me to often write from my own lived experience in bringing a weekly topic to life, and that’s the case this week for the topic of staying curious. This is hard to share, but our 91-year-old mom has a new diagnosis of dementia. Looking back, it came on slowly, as these things often do, yet a recent infection aggravated it significantly. Adding this to my PhD in lived experience, I have a newfound appreciation for dementia caregivers.

Growth MindsetKristi HornerApril 30, 2026Curiosity, Staying Curious

APRIL 2026 Newsletter - Common Humanity: Recognizing What Brings Us Together

"Common humanity focuses beyond our relationship with ourselves to our relationships with others and the world. It's about realizing how much we share as fellow humans. If we broaden our compassion for others, we can extend that compassion to include ourselves." - Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW

What do you believe you have in common with the person sitting closest to you? What about the people down the street? The people in the next city/town over? What about those on the other side of the globe? Today, it can feel so hard to find connection when it feels there is so much that divides us, from varying beliefs to differing values to conflicting understandings of the world.

Recognizing common humanity is not about smoothing over or ignoring these differences, but remembering that we all know what it feels like to be messy and unsure, to experience pain and loss. According to Dr. Kristin Neff, common humanity is a necessary part of self-compassion. We may not experience hardship the same way, but we all struggle. As Dr. Neff says, "Unlike self-pity, which says poor me, self-compassion says poor us." By recognizing the ways we can connect through our common humanity, we can build stronger and more meaningful relationships and be kinder to ourselves and others.

3 Tools to Help Appreciate Our Common Humanity

Remember that we are not alone. It can sometimes feel easier to see what divides us than what brings us together. However, common humanity is not the absence of difference. Common humanity simply means recognizing that, even with our differences, we are still human and have the capacity to connect with one another.
Practice self-compassion. As we emphasize here at Courage to Caregivers, we cannot be truly kind to others if we are not also taking care of ourselves. Remind yourself that you are doing the best that you can, and talk to yourself as you would a beloved friend.
Embrace connections. Focus on what connects us to other people rather than only what makes us different. By building connections based on our common humanity, we can support both ourselves and those around us.

Check out the complete April 2026 Newsletter focused on Common Humanity here!

Establishing Meaningful Connections

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” ~ Helen Keller

Did you know loneliness is considered a major public health concern? Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has described an “epidemic of loneliness,” noting that even in a world where we are more digitally connected than ever, many of us still lack meaningful connection. Research suggests that the health risks of chronic loneliness can be comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, highlighting the essential role that connection plays in our emotional and physical well-being. For unpaid family caregivers, strengthening connection is a protective factor that supports resilience and helps prevent burnout.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 16, 2026Loneliness, Breaking Through Loneliness

Carry the Grief, but Count the Blessings

“Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.” — Megan Devine

There are ALL kinds of grief and loss that caregivers face on a daily basis. I’m choosing to focus on the one that I battle with every day—ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss is a form of grief that occurs when there is no clear closure or resolution, such as when a loved one is physically present but psychologically changed, or psychologically present but physically absent. It’s that feeling that the future you envisioned for yourself and your loved one, no matter the relationship, is different and may never unfold as planned.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 9, 2026Grief, loss

Support Is Closer Than You Realize

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Caregiving is deeply human work. Across cultures, generations, and life experiences, people step into roles of supporting loved ones through illness, disability, mental health challenges, aging, and times of uncertainty. While every caregiving journey is unique, one truth connects us all: We were never meant to do this alone.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 2, 2026Building Bridges

MARCH 2026 Newsletter - Mindfulness: An Act of Self-Compassion and Empathy

When life seems to be breaking apart around us, being told to "be mindful" can feel insensitive at best and downright insulting at worst. Why should we center on ourselves when there is so much we have to do as caregivers? But mindfulness, can be instrumental in encouraging self-compassion, which in turn can inspire greater empathy.

Mindfulness is the "moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens" (Source). According to a recent study, mindfulness and self-compassion are positively linked with empathy. By bringing self-compassion into our lives, we can more readily extend empathy toward other people.

How will you embrace mindfulness and self-compassion in your daily life?

3 TOOLS FOR SELF-COMPASSIONATE MINDFULNESS

Self-compassion as a practice of good will - It's important to remember that self-compassion is about accepting our present moment and circumstances so we can open ourselves up to growth. While we may not be able to make the pain go away in the moment, we can prepare ourselves to take action.
It's okay for self-compassion to feel hard - It's normal to struggle to practice self-compassion and find yourself remembering old pains. When that happens, focus on your breath and bodily sensations. It's okay to learn self-compassion at your own pace. By doing so, you are already practicing self-compassion!
Try the self-compassion break - The self-compassion break is a mindfulness practice that can help in moments of stress. First, acknowledge that this a stressful moment. Next, remember that you are not alone in struggling. Finally, recognize a kind phrase toward yourself such as "may I be strong" or "may I be patient."

(Adapted from "Self-Compassion Practices" by the Self-Compassion Institute)

Check out the complete March 2026 Newsletter focused on Mindfulness here.

Honor Your Own Humanity—Make Time for Happiness

“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” ~ Victor Hugo

Happiness can feel elusive—or even out of reach—when life and caregiving feel heavy. So many of us have heard the saying, “You’re only as happy as your least happy child,” but I’ve never subscribed to that belief. If we hinge our emotional well-being entirely on someone else’s struggle, we lose our ability to care for ourselves, and we drain the very resilience we need to keep showing up.

MindfulnessKristi HornerMarch 19, 2026Happiness, Laughter

What If We Set Aside the What-Ifs?

“The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh

In my peer support work, I support a lot of caregivers who either focus on the future or ruminate about the past. “What-if’s” fill our heads, and as caregivers, we’re SO good at living in our heads. We’re prone to overthinking, worrying, and remaining in perpetual motion. Even in the middle of the night! (If that’s your most challenging time of day, like it is for me, try our breathing practices. Box breath or 4-7-8 are my favorites.)

MindfulnessKristi HornerMarch 12, 2026Being Present, Living Mindfully

Pause for Compassion

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~ Viktor Frankl

Do your loved ones have a tough time regulating their emotions? Or is that just mine? I used to love to blame them when these blowouts happened. Then, I realized that I needed to focus on what’s in my control. My emotional response to others is something that I can definitely control.

MindfulnessKristi HornerMarch 5, 2026Emotions, Regulating Emotions, Emotional Self-Control

FEBRUARY 2026 Newsletter - SELF-DISCOVERY: Reflecting on Our Journeys

FEBRUARY THEME: Self-Discovery

“Finding oneself is a journey, not a destination.” — Unknown

In January, we discussed the power of setting intentions for who we want to be. Now at the end of February, we are well into our personal journeys of self-discovery. Some of us may be finding our paths as straightforward as we had hoped while others of us may be feeling challenged by the unexpected directions our roads are taking us. Wherever you may be on your journey, now is a great moment to pause and reflect.

As the quote states above, self-discovery is about the journey, not the destination. How have you grown in the last two months? Where do you hope to improve? Who has supported you? By taking a break to reflect, we can recognize our own inner strengths and treat ourselves with the self-compassion we need.

TOOLS FOR SELF-DISCOVERY

Be Compassionate Toward Yourself. While this is often easier said than done, remember that there are MANY ways to be compassionate toward yourself. Check out this toolkit for some suggestions!
Look for Joy in Your Life. Acknowledging joy in your life does not mean ignoring your pain or sadness. Rather, finding joy can mean recognizing the small and big things that boost your soul and encourage you to keep going even during challenging times.
Identify Your Strengths. We all have strengths that motivate us and help us through difficult dilemmas, but identifying them can be tricky. Sometimes just starting with the activities you enjoy or what others have complimented you on can be a good start.

Remember, you got this! Best wishes as you journey on! 💙

Check out the complete February 2026 Newsletter focused on Self-Discovery here.

Give Yourself Permission for Self-Compassion

“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”

~ Dr. Kristin Neff

As caregivers, if there’s anything we’re really good at, it’s providing care to others. Then, why is it so hard to care for ourselves, too? We’re often hard on ourselves—beating ourselves up with self-doubt, self-blame, negative self-talk, and could-have–should-have thoughts.

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 19, 2026Self-Compassion

Strength with a Purpose

“When you know your strengths, you know where you can be strong on purpose.”

— Marcus Buckingham

Caregiving is hard, but none of us comes to this journey empty-handed. We bring skills, values, and inner resources that help us navigate our challenges and achieve our goals. Identifying those strengths is part of self-discovery. When we slow down enough to understand who we are beneath our responsibilities, we gain clarity about what sustains us and what drains us. This knowledge helps us shift from surviving each day to caring with intention.

Finding Gentle Joy

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

— A.A. Milne

Oh how I wish my caregiving was full of rainbows, unicorns, and sunshine all the time. Just as in life, caregiving comes with its good days and bad days, its joys and its sorrows. There have been more days than I can count where I’d love to push the “easy” button.

Self-DiscoveryKristi HornerFebruary 5, 2026Joy, Micro-Joy, Finding Joy, What Brings You Joy?, joy